How to quit drinking coffee addiction

I've been feeling like a bag of tired sludge these past few days. It's because I've been limiting the amount of coffee I've been consuming. I am going to end up throwing the shit out the window soon. It's so hard to quit. I feel burnt out all day. The best way to quit when your addicted is cold turkey. I'm not around coffee drinkers all day so that would make quitting easier. I just need to wait until the time is right. The withdrawals would be to hard on me now. I need to help my BF pay off some bills. It would feel like working hung over every day for two weeks. It takes two weeks for the withdrawal headaches, dizziness and drowziness to ware off. Blahhh

In other news, the world is coming to an end. Have you noticed?

Beware the Mormon missionaries!!

I was watching an old DVD the other night of the newest Twilight Zone series. The show only lasted for two and a half seasons because it was so horridly written, but I was bored. The episode I was watching, was about missionaries going from door to door. The main character was told by the aliens, or missionaries, (whatever you prefer to call them) that he was the chosen one. In his fight to stop the aliens, he shot one that came to his door. "You shouldn't have done that!" Said one of the lady missionaries. The guy stepped outside and a group of people creepily stared back at him. The episode ended with the weird missionary freaks sprouting magical sparkly angel wings and taking the chosen ones to the promise land, while nuclear bombs were being dropped and the main character was tragically evaporated.

I would have liked the end to be more realistic. The missionaries should have been aliens not angels. Every time I go for a walk the Mormon freaks are walking around town trying to convert people and join their cult. They carry around their little Jesus pamphlets and spook people out of having pre-marital sex. Bastards. They always travel in pairs. They look to be about 18. They are so brain washed they don't even remember comming up to me every time they spot me. It wouldn't be so bad if it were the big city but everyone knows everyone else in our little inbred town.

They've come up to me like three times in the same month and talked to me in the same brainwashed tone. "Excuse me. Would you like to take a moment to talk about the Mormon something or other. Have you heard about the new Prophet so and so?" What a sales pitch. The dumb bastards even give 10 percent of their hard earned wages to the cult....or church. Same thing. The next time they come up to me, I am going to ask them if they would both like me to suck their dicks. They are 18 after all. I mean, how many chances do guys have for some random chick to smoke some pole! It will take some gentle persuading but I am sure to corrupt them. Why? Not because I am an Atheist. Not because I am an anti Christ. It is because I am Satan. :-)

Food crises cost of living malnutrition

I hear that food costs around the world have been rising. There has been riots over food in Haiti and Bangladesh already. The food costs will soon be too much in Canada too. This is due to the price of oil going up. Food is shipped to North America and all around the world. Greedy rich Oil companies are making us hungry and poor. It already costs $40 for a whole turkey! Children will suffer from poverty the most. Common illness are life threatening for kids if they don't have the proper nutrition to fight them. Famine and poverty are usually human related problems. Maple Leaf lost $10, 000 because the cost of wheat went up. So they are raising the price of bread. Bread will soon be $4.00 for the cheap crap that's nothing but air. Maple Leaf already make $10 000 000 in profit! I hope you are all prepared to garden. The next great depression is on its way. UH OH SPAGHETTI-O!!!

Canadian film industry in jeopardy?

The federal government of Canada is considering sending a bill that would put restrictions on movies that qualify for taxpayer support. Ottawa is imposing censorship on the film industry, and is to fund only those productions that meet the publics needs for a nice watered down family production. Well known Canadian director David Cronenberg, has called the legislation (officially known as Bill C-10) "a direct assault on the Charter of Rights and Freedoms."


I'm on the fence with this one. I'm worried that the freedom of speech right is being violated. But at the same time, I complain that there is too much violence, gratuitousness and sex. And is there any women on TV anymore that are over 30 and don't look virtually perfect in every way? It's a skew of reality. I wanna see some ugly chicks!


Not all Canadian films need to be funded by the government, but still, this country is pretty broke. It ruins it for the films that are funded. People are already watching mostly American movies with loads of gore. The more gruesome the better. I think this is just a way to cut the competition for the American film industry. Why? Because Americans own Canada and governments lie. 'nuff said.

I got shit on my mind! (minimum wage rant)

Same old same old. Me and my boyfriend were at Tim Hortons earlier this evening before work. All we ever do is walk around and complain about how fucked up everything is. as we were sitting in Timmy's, Dan sat and observed a haggard old woman scramble to earn her wage. The girl that waited om us was perky as usual. "she's always like that. Which wouldn't be unusual if she had a normal job. In a place like that you'd have to be fucked up to be that happy every day." Agreed, scrubbing toilets and waiting on impatient people as quickly as possible for 8 hours every day would kill me. I would not want to live. When I was worked as a lowly cashier at McDonald's, there was a very nice lady there. She was always smiling and did what she was told. She worked there for over 12 years. She had a very low IQ. I think that's is what corporations are looking for. People that don't even know they have rights and should stand up for themselves. I haven't heard of anyone lasting that long because they are good at the job. I can't believe places like that have the nerve to say some one is "over qualified". In other words if your too smart don't come here and try to change things. We have a good thing going here, screwing people around, making them work like dogs and paying them as little as possible. Think of it. MINIMUM WAGE. The lowest we will pay you. Half the country works at low wage jobs. It's hard dirty work. Why don't people start a union against it? Why don't people stand up for themselves anymore. Has this generation any idea that, if you don't stand up for yourself, you will get walked on? Remember the good old days, when people would get together at the end of the week? It's harder to do now because everyone has different days that they have to work. Only medical professionals would have to work over Christmas and get called in on their days off. Now it's the good people of Blockbuster. Familys are scattered thanks to Sunday shopping. Everyone should start a union. If nothing changes we should all go on strike and live like the Amish in a system of trading without money, untill the government and corporations get scared and give us our rights as human beings back.

Jobs used to offer the following: Job security, over time, raises, pensions, weekends off, benefits...

I'm choking on this shit

Today was very long. I felt like there were hands around my neck choking me. There is a voice in the back of my mind that sternly tells me to make money and be productive. "No matter how you do it, make money! Money justifies everything, no matter how immoral." My boyfriend says "if you want to stay here you must give me a minimum $350 every month. I don't care how you do it...." I've lost. The ice caps are melting, animals are going extinct left and right and I have find a way to pay the ever increasing bills. Even if it means working for the bad guys. Should I join the dark side? Should I give up and listen to mainstream music? That would brain wash me into thinking everything was just peachy.

Money isn't worth anything any more! I have a shitty online job right now that I hate. It seems like anything that involves being where the money is is shit. It's not a hard job, but it eats your soul, like many of them do, and it's only temporary, like many of them are. 15 % of the population likes there job. Is it just that work sucks? Or is society getting harsh. I'm fucking scared. I always have so much on my mind, and if I had an ordinary steady job like an ordinary person, it would eat all those thoughts. Being creative is the only thing keeping me human, and if I have to jeopardize that by getting a steady shitty job, I will surly not like to live. As mellow dramatic and adolescent as that may sound. I can't be average and normal. It's as boring as fuck. I hate talking about the weather, or what I did on the weekend. How do people small talk? It's dry. Life is mean. It costs allot to live. Hopefully when the war is over things will get better. And the next war is just around the corner. I'm fucked. I hardly think I could survive on my own. My boyfriend that's like old enough to be my dad takes care of me. I'm not stupid I'm just slow. And shy, and I like to be polite and day dream. Not good if you live in north America. Home of fast pace business and over caffeinated morons. I hate rushing too. You only get one life, which could end any time. There isn't a heaven and there isn't a God. That was made up a few thousand years ago to control the masses. I don't want to spend my hole life rushing around and being stressed out, while making small talk to simple folk. Fuck. I'm out.

Men have no subconscious at times

I have my period, so you know I'm cranky. I get up groggy, thirsty and light headed. The light burns my eyes and I squint. I need coffee right away. Somethings different with the counter. It takes a few minutes to finally wake up and realize that everything is out of order.

"Why is the counter all messed up?" "The mice came out again. I found were they are coming from." He pointed to the small opening in the wall and explained further while my blood boiled.

We had been fighting the night before about work. However rewarding it can be working with your partner, it can also be frustrating as all holly hell.


My boyfriends excuse is that he doesn't mind mess. And he doesn't make any mess in the first place. (not true) Oh and lets not forget "I'm not very good at that stuff." No he isn't. But practice makes perfect. Cleaning is annoying if you do it constantly. You clean everything and in a day its dirty again. But if you don't keep up with it, it builds up and before you know it you have a mountain of dishes.

He's no good at repairing things either. He's the type of guy that works with his brain, not his hands. My dad has to help with repairs sometimes. When he gets to old, it's up to me. Yard work as well. My boyfriend sucks at cutting grass. He misses spots. Then he leaves all the clumps of grass lying there and doesn't bother to rake. Theses things were cute at first. Now I'm annoyed.


I don't make as much as my boyfriend and we share a house. I can't drive, so if I went out and got a job, he would have to drive me. I have awareness problems so I shouldn't be behind a wheel anyway. We both prefer working at home because jobs have become quite ridiculous in that they are harder and more degrading with less pay, then ever before. We both agreed to fight the establishment tooth and nail, and work for ourselves. It's quite difficult now, with competitors like big box stores, that mass produce things cheaply in other countries, with factories, machines and poor labourers that have big families to feed. Sometimes we get anxious and fight. Time is very limited and mistakes aren't really an option. The cost of everything is the only thing soaring to the top.


He complanes that I'm to slow and can't bring in enough monthly. He's right! I am too slow! I do need to get my ass in gear! He forgets however that I'm almost 20 years younger then him. I've never done this before and I'm terrible at marketing. I've never gone to university. I'm really terrible at things that most people can do, and better at things that most people can't do. I also have to take care of this damn place. Scrub the floors, wash the dishes, do the laundry, make the beds, scrub the toilet, clean up rat shit and the little pieces of scraps they chew on and leave everywhere. (We have to stalk up on mouse traps) Since I don't like to live in my own filth and I don't like to sit in the same clothes for four days straight and not take a bath, I guess it's up to me alone to do all this gross crap. I don't get any credit for it either. It's like it magically does itself. I have to be a maid, a gardener, a repair man, a money maker and a personal motivator. I wonder. If I brought in more then him and still did all the house work would I get any credit?

NO. Because inequality still exists. It would still be HIS house as he likes to remind me all the time. It is his house, he owns it. He just can't take care of it. Typical male.