Lair Of Asmodeus' Kittie

Keep On The Sunny Side

2010-06-02T09:27:00.000-07:00

Isn't that what the old people used to say? Keep on the sunny side of life! Well, I'll try. I made it through the winter and that's an accomplishment. Now the summer is here and the sun is burning my eyes. I don't get out much.

Enjoy the months ahead! Always take time to smell the roses, or whatever is is that gets you through the night...

Epitome Of A Tortured Genius

2009-12-24T19:53:00.000-08:00

It's better to starve free than to be a fat slave.
-Aristotle

All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.
-Aristotle

If you're a highly creative individual that doesn't want to end up like the epitome of a tortured genius, you have to find balance. Sometimes you have to burn yourself out so you can rest. Sometimes you have to lose it. Escape from reality by running away for a day or two. There's nothing wrong with that. It's why artists say they don't ask for inspiration. It comes to them. Nature made you the way you are. It's your instinct. Right brain thinkers use their intuition more than logical folk. They tend to see what's in front of them. They use the information given to them and most of the time don't think to come up with their own ideas. But Intuitive people get emotional when they sense something isn't right. I know life's a bitch. But you shouldn't have to take pills to become the ideal model citizen. Don't be a victim of the world. All great artists create until they don't have the strength. If you give up in life a million little things will chip away at you. You should never stop being the genius you are. Let the voices in your head overcome you. Keep creating until they fall silent. Show the world what it's shown you. If your head doesn't work right, follow your heart. Age with grace. Be a composer.

MUSCIC SAMPLES FROM CREATIVE GENIUS TYPES...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AhpoqTkuwY&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__r0gwxzeVE&NR=1&feature=fvwp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5wbb9YWYRA&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watchv=_jvhR6qsEuo&feature=PlayList&p=E7C2018129CC009C&index=37
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRtovSpE_tA&feature=related

I'm worried because I've seen allot of brilliant people in my life, lose that spark of intellect due to numbing themselves. Weather it's from prescripted meds or street drugs. When your body adjusts to them you need to up the dosage. I've worked in a mental institution before. In my opinion, insanity is biting people and drinking from the toilet. Severe mental retardation is insanity. Bipolar disorder is a term used to describe your current imbalanced emotional condition. If you let your fears and your emotions control you, your sanity will gradually become worse and worse. There are varying degrees of these episodes. They start off as general anxiety and depression. From there you have panic attacks, then mania, then psychosis and finally Schizophrenia. They are all just your body and your mind reacting to stress. They can be controlled without the use of prescribed meds. Your sanity is your responsibility. Unfortunately, when we are labeled with such vices, it gives us an excuse to justify our behavior, without questioning why we feel such strong emotions in the first place. Our feelings can be dealt with in a healthy way. Managing ones emotions shouldn't mean holding them back. We should except that we have these emotions and instincts for a reason. To survive our harsh environment. Evolution gave you tear ducts for a reason. It's response to stimuli. Use them when necessary. When you cry all those natural body chemicals flood out of you.

It's sad that it takes a person so long to figure out who they are and what life is. But once you do, It's best to drink life in as much as possible, if and when you can. There's nothing wrong with you. There never was anything wrong with you. The world around you however, is a different story. You're an intelligent and passionate. The traumatic experiences you have had in your life or have read about have taken its toll on your nerves. If you have high levels of testosterone in your body, that can be a problem too. All that energy is looking for an escape. There are thousands of people with mental problems that have learned to cope with stress through Traditional Chinese medicine, philosophy, meditation, yoga etc. There's a reason these methods have been practiced for centuries. They come from a time when people had to live with the harshest of rulers, with little to no human rights. In ancient China for instance, rose oil was very rare. If a man were to posses even a small drop, he would be beheaded. We are quickly approaching a time of tyranny and corruption. In order to survive these times with dignity and grace, alternative measures need to be taken in order to stay calm. these ancient methods should seriously be taken into consideration.

Back home, When I was a girl I use to bike down dirt roads and go swimming in the rivers. The sun doesn't come out much here and it rains allot. But there's something about those hills I find breath taking. To me they're better then the ocean. I used to have vivid dreams that I was flying over them. I've had allot of recurring dreams like that. I would be standing around, talking to a group of people and then suddenly float upwards, rise over the trees and the hay fields, and soar. I wonder what the psychology of that is?

Love And Creativity

2009-12-24T19:45:00.000-08:00

"Happiness is a physiological process which is related to creativity. The happiness that comes from having your love returned is like a chemical elixir, pumping endorphins and other hormones through the brain, keeping neurons firing at top capacity. Neurons work with information, and the memories that are forming during the course of a good relationship are very strong creative enhancers. Ever wondered why it takes so long to get "over" a long-term relationship? That's the depth of the neurological involvement showing its less-than-lovely side. As long as the relationship continues, however, that neurological development goes on at many different levels. We know that newborn babies who are unloved or separated from family because of illness or other misfortune suffer a low rate of neurological growth. Some mental processes, such as empathy, do not ever reach full development in the absence of maternal love in the first six months of life. Empathy, for example, is a prime ingredient in the writing of a great novel or short story. A fiction author cannot create compelling stories without being able to step into the shoes, minds and heart of their characters. This ability is called empathy. While the brain chemicals involved in "falling in love" have been equated with those of mental illness, the brain adjusts after a period of time and begins to rise on the curve again. If a new relationship lasts more than two years and remains healthy, it will begin to deepen sharply. This deepening can be measured physiologically as being a major factor in developing creativity"

“A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.”
- Charels Darwin

There are people that like to say that enlightenment is bullshit. It doesn't pay the bills. Neither does love and happyness. But if you have to seperate your self from all these great things to make money, isn't paying the bills bull shit?
Not that you needed to see more of this kind of thing but...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_baloCb-nM&feature=related\par
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NZpOXj6u78&feature=related

Creativity

2009-12-24T19:42:00.000-08:00

3.5 billion years of a mutating gene sequence has brought you to where you are right now. In those billions of years of evolution, instincts were developed in order for you to adapt and survive. In today's society survival is the main objective. But what's the point of surviving if you don't feel alive? Before the first societies were invented, there were three types of people. Leaders, followers and creators. Creativity isn't a want it's a need. Or better yet an instinct. Animals create too. Spiders create webs to catch flies. Birds weave together nests to hold their eggs high in trees. Nature creates to sustain itself. Just like all other instincts, when you repress your most primitive instincts for to long, you can suffer physical and psychological damage. For instance, If you don't have intercourse or masturbate regularly, sexual hormones and fluids build up inside of your body, making you irritable and tense. The religions that teach sexuality as being sinful have a bad reputation for being related to sexual abuse and violence for a reason. That's why madness and creativity are biased as going hand in hand. When you repress your creativity you go numb and then become anxious and depressed. Thoughts build up in your head. You don't want to eat or sleep. When you are finished creating a calm falls over you. Creating is like giving birth. Children use the right side of their brain but gradually use more of the left throughout adulthood. This could explain why creative people are so childish at times. More emotional. They hate being told what to do because it stifle creativity. Artists also need a lot of time alone time to formulate thoughts. Logical people are the opposite. They need rules and structure. Without them they panic. They need to work with other people. They are childish in their own way by having a low tolerance for different people. A negative trait children posses. I guess that's why they say there's no difference between kids and adults except for height and responsibility.

I remember seeing a movie set in the 1700's about a writer. The government didn't like his outspoken manner and he was constantly getting into trouble with the law. They took everything away from him. As a way of rebelling, he would find anything he could to write with. If I'm remembering this right (or maybe just interpreting my memories wrong) He used a rock scratching on the wall or fingernails into his skin. When they tied him up in a cell room with nothing he could possibly write with, he used his own fecal matter as a kind of paste. I can't remember how it ended for him. I'm guessing not well because it was aristocratic France. It reminds me of the quote by Gandhi.

"I cannot teach you violence, as I do not myself believe in it. I can only teach you not to bow your heads before any one even at the cost of your life."
- Gahndi

REALIZATION

2009-12-24T19:39:00.000-08:00

Realization is this; You and the people close to you are unknowingly floating along in a big protective bubble. You like the bubble, even though it bounces up and down at times. It's always good to stay afloat. But when someone outside tells you a secret, it's like an F5 tornado has sucked you out of your bubble, ripping it to shreds so you can never get back inside. Everything outside is swirling around and around out of control. Once you learn something you can never forget it. No matter how much you want to. Your only hope is to try and drag your loved ones out with you. You want to save them... or perhaps they can save you. But people don't like the truth. They like it in the bubble. If you tell people the truth, they shoot the messenger, because the messenger just fucked up their world big time. So now you must live in the dizzying world outside alone.

They say that over organizing things is a sign of loneliness. That could be why the civilized world is so OCD. Whites are made their brightest. Lawns don't have a weed in sight. Sit up straight. Cross your t's and dot your i's. Try to do everything the way it should be done. And spend a large portion of your income, on drinking establishments

Mother Shipton

2009-12-24T19:36:00.000-08:00

The Mother Shipton prophecies keep coming closer and closer to fruition. An acquaintance of mine volunteers at a university teaching music. He made a terrifying observation about his students. If you were to ask them a question about something that isn't in the text-book, they look completely lost. They don't have the creative ability to make an educated guess. They're also very easily distracted. He said their frontal lobes aren't developing the way they should be. Universities that once harboured intelligent minds that exchange knowledge and ideas, have been replaced by unruly drunken children. It seems like just an extension of high school now.

In the documentary, "The Medicated Child" they show normal energetic children that have been drugged by their parents because of problems at school. My favorite part was where they interviewed a 12 yr old girl. She said "The drugs make me more like I'm supposed to be." They showed some other boys with behavioral problems. (like what boy isn't a problem) One kid was acting up in class so they put him on Ritalin. He got moody and anxious from that so they put him another pill as well. Then that offset something else so they gave him pill after pill. The kid got all bloated like Daniel Johnson and developed a nervous tick. The drugs fucked him up worse. When really all he needed in the first place was to burn off all that youthful energy. Kids are energetic. It's not ADD. You've got parents letting them grow up online, eating crappy food and drinking red bull. No wonder they can't concentrate.

The Medicated Child
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCfRqNISQZg

I used to have tremendous panic attacks when I lived in the middle of a busy town. I was miserable and sick all the time. My therapist wanted me to take pills for my Anxiety disorder. When I asked for some alternative treatments instead, She told me to tap on pressure in between my eyebrows when I felt nervous. Can you imagine someone in public frantically tapping their forehead? How is that supposed to make anyone feel better? Then she gave me a relaxation CD with her creepy voice recorded on it. The treatments were bogus but it's all the mental health department was willing to give. When I missed a few of her appointments she gave me hell for wasting her time and money. So I didn't go back after that. Now I live in the country again. Things take their time out here. People are nice. They actually come up to you and ask you if you need help with anything. I don't get panic attacks any more. I feel alright.

I've found the cure for mood disorders. Get as far away from civilization as possible!

BAD MEDICINE

2009-12-24T19:33:00.000-08:00

Certain psychiatric meds have side effects that can cause weight gain due to increased appetite, changes in how the body metabolizes sugar and decreases in activity due to sedation. They can also cause extreme thirst, tremors and vomiting. ah yes... we all need to be sedated to cope with the ever increasing waist land that is our life. I think that some people are just better at tuning the world out then others. Those that can't escape are seen as having something wrong with them that needs to be corrected. Meds don't cure these disorders. That's why therapy is recommended along with medication. A person still has to learn self monitoring skills, to identify manic episodes. Psychotherapy is helpful to learn to adjust to the disorder, as well as focusing on symptoms and issues. It's like the same pitch they use to sell dieting pills. "With this diet pill, a healthy balanced diet and exercise, you too, can lose weight!" I'll bet the balanced diet and exercise would suffice. But people are to busy to do it the right way. They want instant gratification. The same goes with debilitating mental disorders. Instead of taking the time to figure out why your going crazy, you want a quick fix.

I don't care how crazy people think I am. I'm never going to drug myself in order to be seen as sane. I want the world to see what it does to people like me. It's so much easier to tell people your having manic episodes are because you're bipolar. It's alot harder to admit that your smart and aware of how fucked up the world is. How it's slowly chipping away at your sanity. It's much easier to say "It runs in my family" then, I'm afraid. There will come a day, when all the pills in the world, won't be able to save us. Spoiled Americans need to learn the art of suffering.

Is it just a coincidence that, as our society becomes more dependant on technology, and less dependant on people, we become more depressed? Machines do everything now. People used to take pride in making everything they owned for themselves. Slowly over time, technology is replacing us more and more. Perhaps we've been changing our environment faster then we've been able to evolve to it. And the people that have once been greatly appreciated and much needed for being creative, have now fallen to the waist side. It's a litigious society and it's very hard for right brain thinkers to to make it. The arts are fueled by money. Making them as watered down as Whisky on the rocks at a bar stop in the middle of nowhere. Our literature, music and visual art masterpieces have been replaced with pulp fiction, pop music and photo shop. Science has been replaced with pseudo science. News has been replaced with misinformation. But one day it will collapse, just like all the advanced civilizations before it. Creative people will be anxious to figure out how to build it back up again.

"what the caterpillar sees as the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly"
Richard Bach

Propaganda

2009-12-24T19:29:00.000-08:00

I have a theory that many of these mood disorders are just a product of this lonely, dehumanizing, chaotic, mass conformist society.
Whenever you ask a psychiatrist what causes these mental problems, what response do you get? "They don't know yet" isn't a very good answer but it's one I keep hearing. Neuroscience has proven that every one's brain is unique, making them act the way they do. There are three styles of learning. Visual, Auditory and kinesthetic. Some people learn fast. Some people learn slow. There are emotional people, and there are logical people. And in all of these distinctions, some people function on a greater magnitude then others. Great measures are taken to make everyone act the same. But there are always a rare few that behave differently from the collective. I went to a meeting for depression and anxiety once. There was more discussions on medication then anything else. It's like how they keep coming close to a cure for cancer but they always need ten more years for research. Bull shit I say. 'To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction. They found the cure for cancer years ago. But they're loaded rich from researching. When the cure is found the funding stops. The science of behavior has many theories as to why different people act the way they do. But the public is rarely informed about it. Of course they can say it's a chemical imbalance. But what causes chemical imbalance? They fail to mention chemical imbalances in the brain can occur naturally from stress, lack of exercise and poor diet. Maybe that's why it's so hard for your brain to make those "feel good" chemicals. It doesn't need selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. It needs exercise. If it's one thing I've noticed about western medicine, it's that people react after the fact. People live shitty lifestyles and then get treated for health problems. Right away, before asking any questions or running any tests, they get drug treatments.
Modern society is the real problem. It fucks with peoples heads big time. Bad parenting fucked me up. The school system fucked me up. The media definitely fucked me up. And the erosion of empathy drove it all home. I needed people to help me more than other kids did. Teachers gave me hell for not being able to keep up the pace. The Simpson's taught me more about life then my parents. Since I'm a visual learner, I'm more vulnerable to visual distractions. Useless information was fed to me everyday without any choice in the matter. I couldn't develop my brain normally by learning and experiencing things on my own. I wasn't born autistic. The world made me that way. It runs in my family because we are mostly visual people. My brother got lucky because he's an auditory learner. He's excellent at following the rules set out for him.

Examples of propaganda:
"The National Institutes of Health (NIH) estimate that the incidence of learning disabilities in the general population is 15 to 20 percent. Fifty-one percent of all the students enrolled in the nation's special education programs are classified as learning disabled (U.S. Department of Education)." Unfortunately, this diagnosis is often viewed as a hindrance rather than an opportunity for growth and understanding.
Parents and students, please note: Individuals diagnosed with learning disabilities are not "stupid." In fact, to qualify as having a learning disability, you must have average intelligence. This means that you have to be at least a little bit smart. Types of Learning Styles Students that have learning disabilities have one commonality, a processing deficit that interferes with their learning. Nevertheless, it is important to remember that every individual learns differently and thus has a unique learning style. "Approximately 20 to 30 percent of the school-aged population remembers what is heard; 40 percent recalls well visually the things that are seen or read; many must write or use their fingers in some manipulative way to help them remember basic facts; other people cannot internalize information or skills unless they use them in real-life activities such as actually writing a letter to learn the correct format." (Teaching Students to Read Through Their Individual Learning Styles, Marie Carbo, Rita Dunn, and Kenneth Dunn; Prentice-Hall, 1986, p.13.) For some, auditory input is most valuable; others rely upon a visual style. Still others learn through kinesthetic means, or a combination of the three. Every person has one primary learning mode. Once you identify that mode, you can learn to maximize it and enhance your child's education."

"In the U.S., more than 3.2 million patients are diagnosed with treatment-resistant depression. Typically, patients have tried several medications and treatments without success or improvement." That's because they've all been proven to be shit. There's been many documented cases of people getting worse from prescription medications passed by the FDA as safe. You must keep in mind that they make money from people being sick. And if everyone in America was full health and vitality, there would be allot less people making billions.
In an article of Science Daily, the Medical University of South Carolina is running some new tests on how to treat patients. "Bilateral epidural prefrontal cortical stimulation (EpCS) was found generally safe and provided significant improvement of depressive symptoms in a small group of patients. Five patients were implanted with EpCS over the anterior frontal poles and the lateral prefrontal cortex bilaterally. Four separate paddle leads were then connected to two small generators surgically implanted in the upper chest area of the patient. The researchers individualized the treatment parameters for each patient to maximize the long-term antidepressant effects. They relied in part on input from the patients themselves who signaled positive mood changes when first stimulated. In general, their devices were set to periodically deliver electrical charges at intensities below the seizure threshold."
Isn't it great that they keep coming up with new ways to treat us for our suffering? Freud and Josef Breuer saw neurotic symptoms like hysteria as a means for the unconscious mind to express itself. Is our society really more accepting of people who are different? Or is it accepting they're different, while giving them no other alternative, then trying to be as 'normal' as possible. In the 50's, when that pesky frontal lobe acted up, (responsible for motor skills, creativity and emotional reactions) they would just give you a frontal lobotomy. Thankfully activist groups rallied against it. I cried when I saw the end of "one flew over the coco's nest", knowing that it was based on a true story. Anyone seen as having a mental breakdown was simply taken away by the cops, and then got chunks of their brains removed.Who needs emotions in this kind of society right? Human needs and desires get in the way of progress. It's horrifying, to be aware of how much America has changed after Nazi Germany. I think the government learned from Hitlers reign how to have more power over people. Not by force but through mind control.
psychology

I read a psychology book from the 60's (the name escapes me) about the modern world's effect on the human mind. The author stated that, in America at the time, Youngsters had a greater chance of ending up in a mental hospital then going on to university. He took it to mean that we could be driving young people insane with the amounts of pressures suddenly forced upon them. In tribal communities, teens pass over to adult hood with ease. But in western culture, the path to adult hood is made as difficult as possible. Young people go from having no control over their lives, to suddenly having to take leaps and bounds. Do we really need to drug so many people, so they can fit into what's ideally normal, or should society be the one to change. That's what disorders are by their very nature. Dis-orders. Disorderly conduct. Is insanity simply going against the majority?

Alternative Treatments To Mental Illnesses

2009-11-17T19:03:00.000-08:00

This blog is aimed at any person suffering from bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, anxiety/depression, autism etc...

These videos are very insightful. I'm positive you'll gain from them. They portray possible alternatives to the mental health system, shamanism, nutrition, psychotherapy, meditation and protest against draconian mental health legislation.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h12_kRYITTA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0agtlyiNW4&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRqN-X3an1Y

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gFB4wVPpAU&feature=SeriesPlayList&p=C27A8C0755C33527

I'm not sure if this stuff is real but it's really cool...and scary.

http://www.livevideo.com/liveshow/ExtraordinaryRendition/archive_729006.aspx

http://www.livevideo.com/liveshow/ExtraordinaryRendition/archive_728990.aspx

Someone left an excellent comment for one of them:
"Now you let the cat out of the bag.
Establishment Big Pharma has been feeding Big Brother this idea of feeding and bringing forth a submissive population. When the population at large have each a chronic body imbalance, they will not be at liberty to agitate for change. They will be complacent. Like drugged sheep and cattle. In other words, easy to handle. Now you start people thinking, That's dangerous."

"People are difficult to govern because they have to much knowledge."
(Lao-tzu)

When you think of it, there are a lot of strange people out there. What makes them their strangest, is the inability to fit into the conforms of society. 'Crazy' people don't want to admit that they're crazy. Well who wants to admit there is something wrong with them? Perhaps people being seen as unstable are just more sensitive to the tragities in life. They have a heightened sense of awareness. Reason can be very unreasonable. There's no right or wrong. You just have to follow your own intuition.
"Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that. That's what's insane about it."
-John Lennon

This is the story of John F. Nash Jr. and how he overcame schizophrenia without the use of debilitating medications.

"John's mental state was beginning to deteriorate. It is thought that his psychotic break occurred primarily from anxiety about his work and Alicia's pregnancy. His friends first noticed his odd behaviour when he arrived at a New Year's Eve party dressed as a baby and spent the entire evening curled up on Alicia's lap, sucking his thumb. In his game theory course, he appointed a graduate student to teach and disappeared for several weeks, suddenly appearing in the commons at MIT. There, he began exclaiming that aliens were sending him encrypted messages through the New York Times. He also interrupted a lecture to say that he was on the cover of LIFE magazine, disguised as the pope, and he knew this because twenty-three was his favorite prime number.
On the campus, he began noticing many people wearing red ties. He thought that the men were members of a secret communist organization and began watching them carefully. When the University of Chicago offered him a prestigious position in their faculty, John turned it down, saying that he was scheduled to become the emperor of Antarctica. He talked to his colleagues about extraterrestrial creatures and secret government agencies working to destroy his credibility and reputation, greatly disturbing them.
The math department chairman relieved John of his teaching responsibilities, thinking that he was having a nervous breakdown. Eventually, John was hospitalized at McLean private hospital near Boston. John was terrified of being locked up, thinking that he didn't belong there. He was diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic and given Thorazine to calm him down. His treatment there was psychoanalysis and his doctors referred to him as "Professor". After he was released, he resigned from MIT and withdrew his pension to move to Europe. In Europe, he made various attempts to renounce his citizenship in the United States and declare refugee status. Alicia followed him to Europe and had him deported back to the United States. Although he was flown back to the United States, he claimed that he had been put in chains and sent back in a ship, like a slave. Back in the US, John started hanging around at Princeton, talking about himself in the third person, writing bizarre postcards, and lecturing endlessly about numerology.
Alicia took up a job in Princeton and managed to support their family. She managed to convince the faculty at Princeton to give her husband small amounts of work in mathematics in an attempt to help him back into the society. However, he refused to sign W-4 forms saying that the government was conspiring against him. He continued to make pay phone calls to his family members using fictitious names.
In 1961, John was committed by Alicia and his sisters to Trenton State Hospital in New Jersey. There, he was subjected to insulin-coma therapy, which involved injecting the patient with large amounts of insulin to put them into a coma, often causing seizures. His colleagues in mathematics were outraged and wrote a letter to the hospital, urging the doctors to protect his mind for the good of humanity. He was discharged after six months of the insulin treatment and looked absolutely terrible to his family members.
His former colleagues at Princeton found him some research work and he published a paper on Fluid Dynamics, his first work in four years. He left for Europe again, sending bizarre postcards to his family with cryptic messages and mathematical theorems. He returned shortly afterward, looking rather haggard. In 1962 Alicia filed for a divorce and John moved in with Eleanor and his first son. She complained that he had deserted her without child support and resented her for committing him. His colleagues in Boston got him an apartment and arranged for him to meet with a psychiatrist, who prescribed anti psychotic drugs. He began to improve dramatically, beginning to look like the old Nash for the first time in years. He was much nicer and his egotistical nature had completely disappeared. He even began meeting with Eleanor and seeing his first son.
Less than a year after moving to Boston, he stopped taking his medicine, causing his symptoms to resurface. He said that he stopped taking the medication mainly because of his feeling of exhaustion and inability to concentrate on his work. This time, he heard voices along with his visual delusions. The voices constantly criticized his behavior and greatly deteriorated his mental condition.
In 1970, Alicia allowed John to move in with her and their son, promising to never commit him again to a hospital. She took him not only as a husband, but to prevent him from living on the streets as a homeless beggar. He began showing up on Princeton, writing mathematical formulas all over campus and developing a reputation as "The Phantom" due to his extreme introversion. Myths developed, with students telling each other that he had been driven to madness as a result of trying to solve an overly complex mathematical problem.
Over the next decade, he continued to wander the campus, working independently on mathematical problems. Some time in the 1980s, he finally overcame his mental illness learning to reject the voices that he heard in his head. His recovery was gradual, but allowed him to slowly become mentally fit, allowing him to regain a role in society. He said that his recovery was as a result of his decision to think rationally. Over time his idea of an equilibrium point in game theory had finally caught the proper attention and became a cornerstone of modern economics. Economists mostly used his ideas to attempt to predict occurrences in the world economy. Members of the Nobel committee finally decided to award Nash the Nobel Prize in Economics in 1994, despite fears of him causing a major embarrassment. People were shocked that a man suffering from schizophrenia for so many years was able to recover and receive such a prestigious award.
Today, Nash serves in the department of mathematics at Princeton. He has since remarried Alicia and found that his own son also suffers from schizophrenia. He has also reconnected with his oldest son, John Stier. His life was immortalized in the film "A Beautiful Mind", with his character portrayed by Russell Crowe."
......................................................................................

"Madness is to think of too many things in succession too fast, or of one thing too exclusively”
-Voltaire
Most people aren't aware of it yet but psychiatry tends to over diagnose people, without mentioning what the real reason for their problems are in the first place. Society never takes the blame for screwing us up. The problem is always a personal one. This type of propaganda keeps us in line so we can still pay the bills and go to work, no matter how stressful and unrewarding life has become for us.
There are 4.5 million americans with depression. That's enough people to make a whole country in itself. The number of people taking anti depressants has doubled in only a decade. Something isn't right about this. It pains me to think of what might of happened to someone like Albert Einstein if he would have been treated for his eccentricities. Some say he had high functioning autism. His brain processed large amounts of information at once. But he had the logic to formulate his thoughts and establish a career. Einstein said that he would go away for weeks at a time in a state of confusion. The guy had to many ideas is all. He was busy all the time thinking and experimenting. If he would have been drugged for his condition I doubt he would be able to think as well. Instead of developing his theory of general relitivity and winning the nobel prize for physics, he might have just stayed at the patent office in Bern, Switzerland.
“As far as I'm concerned, I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue.”
- Einstein
http://www.lucidcafe.com/library/96mar/einstein.html <<<<< Einstine bio
You can always trust the information given to you by people who are crazy. They have an access to truth not available through regular channels.
- Sheila Ballantvne
Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy.
-Norah Ephron
There are some that would never have made it where they are today if their disorder was treated early on in life. Your pain is your muse. And crazy people can be strangely admerable when they're in the publics eye. The media loves following them. Their condition made them famouse!

A few years ago I started reading activist journalism stuff like Adbusters. Then I learned about how to live off of wildlife. Hey I'm no nomad. But at least I try to live as naturally as possible. It's better then nothing. We live in an either/ or world. If you can't do one or the other, shoot for the middle I always say. I've taught my parents about this stuff and they're slowly changing their lifestyles for the better. Mom's growing her own garlic, because she's tierd of getting the stuff that's been shipped all the way from China. In a gentle way, you can shake the world.

I highly recomend the book Man And His Symbols by Carl G. Jung. His work was aimed at the public as a whole, rather then just phsyciatrists. His theory is that imagination must be taken more seriously, as one of the most distinctive characteristics in human beings. Some of his theories will blow your mind. They're such a different way at looking at things, but yet they make absoulutly perfect sense. "
“It is true however that in recent times civilized man has acquired a certain amount of will power, which he can apply where he pleases. He has learned to do this work efficiently without having recourse to chanting and drumming to hypnotize him into the state of doing. He can even dispense with a daily prayer for divine aid. He can carry out what he proposes to do, and he can apparently translate his ideas into action without a hitch, whereas the primitive seems to be hampered at each step by fears, superstitions, and other unseen obstacles to action. The motto “Where there’s a will, there’s a way” is the superstition of a modern man.
Yet in order to sustain his creed, contemporary man pays the price in a remarkable lack of introspection. He is blind to the fact that, with all his rationality and efficiency, he is possessed by “powers” that are beyond his control. His gods and demons have not disappeared at all; they have merely got new names. They keep him on the run with restlessness, vague apprehensions, psychological complications, an insatiable need for pills, alcohol, tobacco, food – and, above all, a large array of neuroses. “

The sad truth is that that man’s real life consists of a complex of inexorable opposites – day and night, birth and death, happiness and misery, good and evil. We are not even sure that one will prevail against the other, that good will overcome evil, or joy defeat pain. Life is a battleground. It always has been, and always will be; and if it were not so, existence would come to an end.
It was precisely this conflict within man that led the early Christians to expect and hope for an early end to this world, or the Buddhists to reject all earthly desires and aspirations. These basic answers would be frankly suicidal if they were not linked up with peculiar mental and moral ideas and practices that constitute the bulk of both religions and that, to a certain extent, modify their radical denial of the world.

There is, however, a strong empirical reason why we should cultivate thoughts that can never be proved. It is that they are known to be useful. Man positively needs general ideas and convictions that will give a meaning to his life and enable him to find a place for himself in the universe. He can stand the most incredible hardships when he is convinced that they make sense; he is crushed when, on top of all his misfortunes, he has to admit that he is taking a part in a “tale told by an idiot”. -Jung
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I have a problem with trying to save people instead of focusing on myself. In, pop phsycology, they call this "wounded bird syndrome" I call it empathy. There's nothing wrong with wanting to help people. Society has been trained to be extremely competitve. But some people still have a nurturing insticnt to protect from harms way. We evolved helping eachother to brave the elements in order to survive. There's no better therapy, then talking to omeone who cares about you.

STRESS
Now that we have no need to hunt or gather, we find ourselves at a loss with each other. With no wild beasts left to conquer, man turns on his fellow creatures. Suppose this world is chaotic and stressful. It takes allot of consentration, focus and logic to succeed. People grow up away from home in organised learning institutions called schools, wich are governed a hell of allot like correctional facillities (prisons) both run by the government. In this stage of developement kids need all the experience they can get to develope a mind of their own for the upcoming "real world" they keep hearing about. But everything in the civilized world goes against their natural developement. Just when they get used to living in captivity, they must quickly learn to fend for themselves. We develope mental problems in our teens and twenties because of the overwhelming stress upon entering the real world. Every single person, I've met (or have seen in the media), with mental problems like manic depression/ anxiety, bipolar disorder and even skitsophrenia, all seem to have one thing in common. They are all highly intelligent. (As well as sensitive.) Every single one of them. A bad combination in these violent times. Perhaps the terror of knowing what's really going on drives us over the edge. Being aware of the truth can be a bitter pill to swallow. There are many ways to controll people in society and make them obedient. Some people just feel like they want to live life alive. If they feel trapped it drives them crazy. Science has proven that the instinct to escape repression is incoded in our DNA. As long as we're living creatures, we'll crave freedom. Like a bird in an open cage, No matter how long it's lived in captivity, it will try to fly free.
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When was the last time you sobbed? Bad things happen all the time. There are many reasons to cry these days. People get fired, divorced, die, and no news is good news. You should see people crying away their blues everywhere. But you don't. Especially men. In America, after the great war, emotions as well as any display of affection between men, were seen as being emasculate. In family photos predating the war, men could be seen leaning close together, without the bias of homosexuality. But in most other countries around the world, showing emotions isn't a sign of weakness. When we hold in our tears, the chemicals that make us emotional build up inside of us. They don't go away unless there's some sort of release. We can't get full control of ourselves untill these feelings are expressed.

2009-10-18T21:47:00.000-07:00

Usually people that have mental problems such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder are very smart. My boyfriend Danny has a high IQ. He has a heightened sense of awareness and reads all the time. He really hates authority. He could never understand why people can be such assholes. He had a nervous breakdown in University because some asshole was teasing a girl with weight problems. They had to hospitalize him because his mind literally snapped. All it took was a taunting moo moo noise to make the electrical impulses in his mind explode. He actually heard a snap. They said it was because he had so much pent up aggression over the years, that it all came out involuntarily at once. They had to teach him how to read and write all over again. I know several people with mental problems and they're all really intelligent. Maybe they're just more aware of the problems of the world then others. Maybe they're the sane ones and the world just brings out their negative emotions, making them look crazy. People with genius IQ's are tortured. Some of them become serial killers like in the movie American Psycho. Admit it. This world is pretty fucked up. And anyone seen as not conforming to normal standards of living, is automatically dubbed insane. They are also locked away for not meeting those standards. What if being Bipolar is just being passionate and highly emotional? What if it's a heightened awareness or higher level of consciousness. It's been proven that different people have different brains. It's also been proven that the FDA makes up fake illnesses and then gives fake pills because they make money from sick people. Like everyone knows by now that ADD was made up. It's just pent up energy that needs to be burned off. There's so many stupid rules and regulations, that it's probably driving people crazy...so to speak! When you have any intelligence in your head at all, it's pretty hard to hold down a boring job and go by the book.

Concentration through Meditation

2009-03-12T12:22:00.000-07:00

Psychology has proven that meditation can improve your concentration. There are many forms of meditation that can help you focus your mind on a certain objective. Focusing your mind on a certain thing and not allowing it to think of anything else helps build concentration. Concentration, like any other mental task, improves through practice.

Kids these days are so used to concentrating on a number of things at once. Listening to music, while talking in a chat, while playing a game, while doing homework with the TV on in the background, has become common place. This is a very different environment from the silent classroom. Blame their poor attention span on too much technology. Kids can entertain themselves with the click of a mouse. Putting knowledge in ones head requires more time and effort then that. Humans didn't evolve with so many distractions! Instead of going to a therapist and asking why your child can't even focus on a simple conversation, get them to compartmentalise things. When they are doing homework, get them to do only that. Grades will improve.

Teach them that learning requires patience. Learning as we all know can be boring. It requires imagination to make it interesting. Learning isn't entertainment. To learn you must focus. And focusing takes practice. Just like any skill!

And THAT'S the alternative treatment for ADD!

Alternative medicine to Ritalin

2009-01-03T16:54:00.000-08:00

If your looking for an alternative cure or remedy for, well, anything, look for ancient Chinese cures. TCM (traditional Chinese Medicine is very complex. IT was formed over thousands of years through observation of nature, the human body and the cosmos.

In our unhealthy western world there is medication for just about anything. However these drugs are poorly tested and can have many harmful side effects or even permanent damage. Thus giving drug companies a bad rep. Traditional medicines often use a more natural approach. TCM is still being used in China today as a primary course of action.

Something to think about before you go and get yourself addicted to a prescription you don't necessarily need.

genetically engineered food health risks

2008-11-27T14:30:00.000-08:00

We are what we eat. I'm sure you've heard that quote before. When you eat a tomato you eat its DNA. When you eat its DNA it becomes part of you. If the tomato has been genetically altered then you've become genetically altered. Thus the controversy behind genetically altered foods. You cannot change DNA once it becomes a part of you. It is a part of you and it is passed on to future generations. The genetic code has evolved over millions of years at its own pace. When you speed that process up over night, there are serious consequences, like cancer and disease. Which to this date, has no known cure. Cancer is mutated DNA.

Studies have shown that animals that are only fed genetically altered foods, have serious health problems. These foods have little vitamins and minerals because they're grown for size and have a longer shelf life. Studies have also shown, that when wild animals are given the chance, they avoid genetically altered food and only eat natural food.

Healthy living is always more expensive, but it's a worthwhile thing to pursue. You should do it for your self and your children's future. There are always healthy natural alternatives out there. Don't trust multi billion dollar corporations that disregard health risks for money.

Info from www.actionbioscience.org

Ritalin side effects

2008-11-22T18:53:00.000-08:00

Ritalin and similar drugs, have been proven to act like stimulants such as speed. Nora Volkow, director of nuclear medicine at the Brookhaven National Laboratory in Upton, N.Y. has done studies that show the drugs cause common side effects such as loss of appetite, weight loss, insomnia, depression, headaches, stomache aches, bed wetting, irritability and dizziness. Most children taking the drug become robotic, lethargic, depressed and withdrawn. In rare cases there is psychological damage such as deep depression, exhaustion suicide, death or even an urge to kill.

Doesn't sound very healthy does it. Many doctors give prescriptions for Ritalin because they are getting benefits from drug companies. There has been no proof of the benefits of Ritalin. Exercise and a healthy diet are usually all that's needed to make the brain function properly.

Multi-tasking Is Making You Sick

2008-10-24T16:10:00.000-07:00

In our ADD society is full of work and distractions, time management is a necessity. Multi tasking is the only way to get things done. But does it really help us? Or does it help corporations rake in more money at the end of the day. Time is money, as they say.
The more tasks we try to do at once, the worse the results will be. Jobs are always done better when you focus your whole attention to them. For instance, lets say you want to make a fancy dinner. Do you do make good food while watching TV and talking on the phone, as well as finishing up some paper work? Or do you do a better job when you take your time and give your full attention.

We often try to drug ourselves to keep up with the fast pace of everyday life. It can be very overwhelming. The anxiety can really take its toll on our mental and physical health. You worry about how you're going to pay the bills, which makes it hard to dose off, so you take sleeping pills. You feel tired all day so you consume large quantities of caffeine. Then when you feel edgy from the stress there is the anti depressant/anxiety medication. (A more recreational form of this is Alcohol or marijuana) When it's hard to concentrate because your mind is trying to focus on a million things at once there's ADD drug therapy.

It's a drug crazed pattern that's easy to get into because we all want a quick fix. But like all instant gratification, once it wears off you fell empty and you need twice as much the second time round.

The easiest solution to this problem is to look at what's causing these symptoms in the first place. Don't let a company tell you that there's something wrong with you, that can only a magic pill can fix. The problem isn't you, it's the corrupt world we live in. You need rest. You can't do a perfect job when your focusing on ten other things. Human beings are not machines. If we are tired we need sleep, not pills. If we're panicked and rushed we need to slow down; not take pills so we can speed up.

If you are a person who just can't seem to keep up, please don't drug your self. Talk to someone experienced who doesn't get kick backs from the drug companies for pushing drugs. Your therapist should be your life coach, not your drug dealer!

ADD drugs are killing your kids

2008-10-05T18:07:00.000-07:00

Does your child have trouble with fitting in? Do they act up in class? Do they find it hard to do mundane boring school work chained to a desk for 6 hours a day? Are they bursting with energy? The solution is to Drug 'em!!!

Millions of people have been miss diagnosed with the bullshit disease, ADD or ADHD. Millions more are to come. Are we all sick in the head? How did this happen to us? Doctors don't even know. They don't know what starts it. They don't know what it is. They can't do any testing on you to find out if ADD is really the case. And yet they know how to treat it. Many doctors will push drugs onto you these days without looking for the real problem. They often get kick backs from the pharmaceutical companies to do so. Their only human you know. People would often have more money then less.

Why do so many of us have ADD? Other then the fact that bullshit makes drug companies money, lets look at the symptoms.
Hard time focusing, starting tasks but never finishing them, a feeling of restlessness, over organizing things. Sound like you. Well it should. We as human beings are not machines. We're imperfect. We don't like to be bored. Boredom usually brings about these symptoms. They should start callin BD instead. Boredom disease.

It's the school systems that need changing. You've got kids of all kinds, squished into one classroom. Years ago, kids with energy would work at an early age and wear themselves out. Now adventurous kids need a full education to get a decent job. they're also inside playing video games. Also, some kids think with the right side of their brains. Which means they're more creative and emotional then most people. But the school systems are set up for logical, organized, mathematical kids. Anyone who doesn't fit into this system shouldn't be drugged. They should try an alternative education.

I read in a fashion magazine, that ADD sufferers (adults and children with energy) are more likely to grow up and be alcoholics, gamblers, divorcees etc.
So you better get drugged by pharmaceutical companies or it's the bottle for you. (Fashion magazines aren't that great for reading material, but they sure do make great kindling for a fire.)

The writer in the magazine went on to say that people in the past may have had ADD as well. Like Da Vinci and Thomas Edison. That might have been the reason behind their eccentric behavior and starting things without finishing them. Or maybe Da Vinci found it difficult to invent the airplane in the 16th century by himself. If these mad scientists were on Ritalin a drug which represses the chemical dopamine in the brain, (gives people energy), they would be to doped up to invent anything.

Just because some poeople aren't productive over achievers doesn't mean there diseased. You can't fix everything with a magic pill.

If your kid is rolling around on the carpet yelling and screaming for your attention, don't drug them. Play with them outside at least. See what they're like after wearing themselves out.

Questions have answers

2008-09-16T15:12:00.000-07:00

If you give yourself enough time to observe and think about the world around you, all the confusion about your life will come to fruition. In these past few years I've learned allot about humanity. It's a shame that everything is about politics these days. I was reading a science fiction/fact magazine that i've subscribed. Half of the articles mention politics. Climate change, endangered species, famine etc. are all related to politics. These modern day tragedies can all be solved through science, but first you must get through the politics of it all. Human beings have so much potential but we waste it on our selfish instinctual desires. I've learned that there will never be peace because men are corrupt greedy and restless. There are powerful people in this world that will enforce what ever they want, as unfair as that is.

It's better to be the change you want to see in the world. You can whine about it all you want but it doesn't change a thing. You can even try to change the things you know are wrong but it might not work. The best thing you can do is to change yourself. If your pissed that trees are being cut down then plant new ones. If you think that jobs aren't worth it then become self employed.

I think the best advice for surviving in a mean world is to help people. We as human beings are social creatures. We've survived the wilderness by working together. And now in an urbanized world, we must worry about each other. People are allot more competitive and unforgiving then the good old days. It's very cut throat out there. The best way to survive it is to be nice to people. Stay close to your family. Do favours for people. (Remember that word favor? I think it's becoming obsolete. Change the world with one good deed at a time.) It's hard at first to think about other people insted of you. But once you become one of those kind hearted charitable folk, you'll wonder why the hell you weren't like that before.

It's all going to be fine

2008-09-15T19:41:00.000-07:00

I've heard politicians say on the radio that it's all going to be fine. The American economy is strong enough to stabilize itself. This is just a bump in the road. When you take a moment to look around you, judge the economy for yourself. More then ever, middle aged and senior citizens are working at minimum wage jobs with no benefits. My guess is they aren't there because they want to be. This past year there have been constant layoffs and factories moving out of the country. Major banks have been failing, People can't afford to live in there homes, the cost of everythig is sky rocketing etc. The biggest problem I see in my life is getting a decent job. Even with a decent education it is damn hard to get a job above minimum wage. Low paying jobs are more demanding then ever. You're extremely lucky to get any benifits at all, let alone two days off in a row.

Every job out there, even if it's minimum wage, should give you enough money to, afford a small house, drive a car, afford good medical AND dental care and have extra money to save for retirement or unexpectid things. This used to be America. Everyone had these things. Now everyone is too poor to afford any of them. Everyone except for the ultra rich.

Everything is not fine. The common man will always be the one to suffer during an economic crises. It's getting harder to make money. I'm thinking of moving to Europe.

Let The Mud Slinging Begin

2008-09-13T19:33:00.000-07:00

It's election time one again. This time round no one really gives a shit. No amount of voting can change the fact that the oil barrens own us. Because they keep rising the price of fuel for no other reason then greed, everything else continues to go up. Power will be rising 10% of it's original price. And we keep voting, hoping that things will change. Political miss-leaders don't usually have any power. They just do the campaigning and baby kissing. They're someones face to spit on when we don't see any other face to blame for all the corruption.

Now is the worst time for the parties to bash one another. People want to see change for the better. They are tired of negative energy from politics. We say "We need help." They say "We're doing everything we can. It's the other parties fault." It's the same old story that people are ready to put to rest. People have read to many political/activist blogs, watched to many documentaries, read to many books on the corruption of America, to care about campaigning. They know that political figures these days, no matter how fancy their campaign is, are in it for themselves. Someone I know was considering slinging a little mud of there own about this years election. He said that we should put signs on our front lawns making fun of the whole thing. For a moment I thought it would be really fun and wewould get some attention. Then I thought back to that guy who painted huge house numbers on his roof to make a statement. He was fed up with the government making it a law to have big numbers on your house. He painted the numbers on his roof and his house burned down a day later. Just a coincidence? Maybe if you trust ultra conservative, rich old men. I certainly don't. That's why I don't vote.

Another plane crash

2008-08-23T14:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday a twin-engine plane crashed in southeastern Utah in the western United States, killing all 10 people on board. About % 50 of air plane crashes are caused by human error. At least that's what the companies that design the air craft say. They of course wouldn't want to admit that the tragic results came from technical difficulties. I hope that with the recent misfortune of mass layoffs due to high fuel prices, the employee's of such places will fare well. Thousands of employee's have already been let go. Hopefully those who are remaining won't be over worked and make mistakes. In unrelated news, have you heard about this one yet?

" BUCHAREST, Romania - A court has ordered a Romanian surgeon to pay $795,000 in compensation to a patient whose penis he accidentally severed during an operation. In July 2004, Dr. Naum Ciomu made a surgical error while operating on the man's testicles, severing the penis instead of making an incision to the testicle. The Bucharest Magistrates Court ruled that Ciomu had been "superficial" in his approach to the operation, ordered the fine and handed Ciomu a one-year suspended prison sentence. The ruling can be appealed. A piece of muscle from the man's arm has now been attached to where his penis was, but its function is aesthetic. The victim's lawyer said you don't have to be an expert to realize that the 33-year-old victim isn't in a good state of mind. "

Scary stuff.

over worked and underpaid with no vacation in sight

2008-08-16T21:06:00.001-07:00

Well by now pretty much every North American has a shit job. The few people that have nice jobs are working for the government or they have already known someone that works in the same area. Those people don't work enough. Some banks close at 3:00. The government has been talking about giving its employees even more time off.

The average person in today's economy is lucky if they can get one day off a week. On top of that, most people don't keep their job for longer then six months to four years before moving on to the next shitty job.

Let's not forget all the outsourcing to poorer countries. Nothing is made in our own country anymore. It's all assembled in Mexico or China. In my town they are going to get a bunch of Mexicans to do training at the local factory and then go back to Mexico. I have no idea why.

I'm really too tired to do any research regarding this matter but I'm sure that we are all doomed. The ultra rich conservative bastards of the world want it to play out like this: The slaves in the poorer nations will assemble the goods and not complain about the long hard hours and low pay. The slaves in North America will sell the goods. The Ultra rich will buy up everything there is to buy and the very few will dominate the world.

People can't rebel these days because technology is too advanced. In the good old days people would gather their young and strong and rebel against the colonies. But since it's not about riding on horse back with a rifle or going to sea with canons, we're all fucked. They have satallites and earth X- rays and big fuckin bombs. Nations or the populice that rebel from such tragedies as the corruption of Governments and Corporations could disapear with the push of a button. So yeah. That's why nothing will change it will only get worse.

The ultra rich will continue to damage the earth and get what they want out of it, and then colonate mars, where they will have further power over us earthlings. Because they could live on a lush new planet while we're desparate to have clean air, so we will have no choice but to work for them long hours to afford our expensive oxygen masks here on our Earth loaded full of carbon monoxide and countless other poisons. Earth, the new ghetto of the galaxy...

I'll bet you $100000.00 ( What 10.00 will be then) that's is what's gonna happen around 2060. If they keep seniors around by that time. The government doesn't seem to take a liking to them now.

My parents came to visit the other day and it seemed like they were so tired and worn out. They wanted to have fun and have a BBQ but even recreation seems like work when you can never take time off.

Didn't have much to have to say about our dying world tonight. I'ts 1:23 am here and I'm tired from working all day. I'm exhausted. Too tired to correct my spelling.

How to Quit an Addiction (no need to go to rehab!)

2008-06-23T20:57:00.000-07:00

Well folks I finally accomplished my goal! I've beat the coffee addiction. After a few weeks of slowly weaning myself off of caffeine.... I quit!!

Tomorrows my first day of going caffeine free. I stopped getting headaches, I have all this energy, I'm not thirsty all the time... I can function!!! Many people in our modern society are hooked on medications they don't need. (these include stress relievers like beer and cigarettes) Coffee, although it's a mild stimulant, is still a drug. Caffeine causes burn out. If you want to quit any drug, wean your self off of it. If you have the will power to do so, its the easiest way. That way you experience very little withdrawal symptoms from it. Every time my caffeine wore off after supper I wanted to fall into a coma for a week. I never felt well rested. Now I can actually accomplish something without reaching for a cup.

TIP Did you know, that if you drank 100 cups of coffe in a day, you could violently die? You start having tremmers

How to quit drinking coffee addiction

2008-05-14T19:16:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling like a bag of tired sludge these past few days. It's because I've been limiting the amount of coffee I've been consuming. I am going to end up throwing the shit out the window soon. It's so hard to quit. I feel burnt out all day. The best way to quit when your addicted is cold turkey. I'm not around coffee drinkers all day so that would make quitting easier. I just need to wait until the time is right. The withdrawals would be to hard on me now. I need to help my BF pay off some bills. It would feel like working hung over every day for two weeks. It takes two weeks for the withdrawal headaches, dizziness and drowziness to ware off. Blahhh

In other news, the world is coming to an end. Have you noticed?

Beware the Mormon missionaries!!

2008-05-05T15:13:00.000-07:00

I was watching an old DVD the other night of the newest Twilight Zone series. The show only lasted for two and a half seasons because it was so horridly written, but I was bored. The episode I was watching, was about missionaries going from door to door. The main character was told by the aliens, or missionaries, (whatever you prefer to call them) that he was the chosen one. In his fight to stop the aliens, he shot one that came to his door. "You shouldn't have done that!" Said one of the lady missionaries. The guy stepped outside and a group of people creepily stared back at him. The episode ended with the weird missionary freaks sprouting magical sparkly angel wings and taking the chosen ones to the promise land, while nuclear bombs were being dropped and the main character was tragically evaporated.

I would have liked the end to be more realistic. The missionaries should have been aliens not angels. Every time I go for a walk the Mormon freaks are walking around town trying to convert people and join their cult. They carry around their little Jesus pamphlets and spook people out of having pre-marital sex. Bastards. They always travel in pairs. They look to be about 18. They are so brain washed they don't even remember comming up to me every time they spot me. It wouldn't be so bad if it were the big city but everyone knows everyone else in our little inbred town.

They've come up to me like three times in the same month and talked to me in the same brainwashed tone. "Excuse me. Would you like to take a moment to talk about the Mormon something or other. Have you heard about the new Prophet so and so?" What a sales pitch. The dumb bastards even give 10 percent of their hard earned wages to the cult....or church. Same thing. The next time they come up to me, I am going to ask them if they would both like me to suck their dicks. They are 18 after all. I mean, how many chances do guys have for some random chick to smoke some pole! It will take some gentle persuading but I am sure to corrupt them. Why? Not because I am an Atheist. Not because I am an anti Christ. It is because I am Satan. :-)

Food crises cost of living malnutrition

2008-04-24T12:42:00.000-07:00

I hear that food costs around the world have been rising. There has been riots over food in Haiti and Bangladesh already. The food costs will soon be too much in Canada too. This is due to the price of oil going up. Food is shipped to North America and all around the world. Greedy rich Oil companies are making us hungry and poor. It already costs $40 for a whole turkey! Children will suffer from poverty the most. Common illness are life threatening for kids if they don't have the proper nutrition to fight them. Famine and poverty are usually human related problems. Maple Leaf lost $10, 000 because the cost of wheat went up. So they are raising the price of bread. Bread will soon be $4.00 for the cheap crap that's nothing but air. Maple Leaf already make $10 000 000 in profit! I hope you are all prepared to garden. The next great depression is on its way. UH OH SPAGHETTI-O!!!

Canadian film industry in jeopardy?

2008-04-21T20:36:00.000-07:00

The federal government of Canada is considering sending a bill that would put restrictions on movies that qualify for taxpayer support. Ottawa is imposing censorship on the film industry, and is to fund only those productions that meet the publics needs for a nice watered down family production. Well known Canadian director David Cronenberg, has called the legislation (officially known as Bill C-10) "a direct assault on the Charter of Rights and Freedoms."

I'm on the fence with this one. I'm worried that the freedom of speech right is being violated. But at the same time, I complain that there is too much violence, gratuitousness and sex. And is there any women on TV anymore that are over 30 and don't look virtually perfect in every way? It's a skew of reality. I wanna see some ugly chicks!

Not all Canadian films need to be funded by the government, but still, this country is pretty broke. It ruins it for the films that are funded. People are already watching mostly American movies with loads of gore. The more gruesome the better. I think this is just a way to cut the competition for the American film industry. Why? Because Americans own Canada and governments lie. 'nuff said.

I got shit on my mind! (minimum wage rant)

2008-04-13T21:37:00.000-07:00

Same old same old. Me and my boyfriend were at Tim Hortons earlier this evening before work. All we ever do is walk around and complain about how fucked up everything is. as we were sitting in Timmy's, Dan sat and observed a haggard old woman scramble to earn her wage. The girl that waited om us was perky as usual. "she's always like that. Which wouldn't be unusual if she had a normal job. In a place like that you'd have to be fucked up to be that happy every day." Agreed, scrubbing toilets and waiting on impatient people as quickly as possible for 8 hours every day would kill me. I would not want to live. When I was worked as a lowly cashier at McDonald's, there was a very nice lady there. She was always smiling and did what she was told. She worked there for over 12 years. She had a very low IQ. I think that's is what corporations are looking for. People that don't even know they have rights and should stand up for themselves. I haven't heard of anyone lasting that long because they are good at the job. I can't believe places like that have the nerve to say some one is "over qualified". In other words if your too smart don't come here and try to change things. We have a good thing going here, screwing people around, making them work like dogs and paying them as little as possible. Think of it. MINIMUM WAGE. The lowest we will pay you. Half the country works at low wage jobs. It's hard dirty work. Why don't people start a union against it? Why don't people stand up for themselves anymore. Has this generation any idea that, if you don't stand up for yourself, you will get walked on? Remember the good old days, when people would get together at the end of the week? It's harder to do now because everyone has different days that they have to work. Only medical professionals would have to work over Christmas and get called in on their days off. Now it's the good people of Blockbuster. Familys are scattered thanks to Sunday shopping. Everyone should start a union. If nothing changes we should all go on strike and live like the Amish in a system of trading without money, untill the government and corporations get scared and give us our rights as human beings back.

Jobs used to offer the following: Job security, over time, raises, pensions, weekends off, benefits...

I'm choking on this shit

2008-04-07T20:18:00.000-07:00

Today was very long. I felt like there were hands around my neck choking me. There is a voice in the back of my mind that sternly tells me to make money and be productive. "No matter how you do it, make money! Money justifies everything, no matter how immoral." My boyfriend says "if you want to stay here you must give me a minimum $350 every month. I don't care how you do it...." I've lost. The ice caps are melting, animals are going extinct left and right and I have find a way to pay the ever increasing bills. Even if it means working for the bad guys. Should I join the dark side? Should I give up and listen to mainstream music? That would brain wash me into thinking everything was just peachy.

Money isn't worth anything any more! I have a shitty online job right now that I hate. It seems like anything that involves being where the money is is shit. It's not a hard job, but it eats your soul, like many of them do, and it's only temporary, like many of them are. 15 % of the population likes there job. Is it just that work sucks? Or is society getting harsh. I'm fucking scared. I always have so much on my mind, and if I had an ordinary steady job like an ordinary person, it would eat all those thoughts. Being creative is the only thing keeping me human, and if I have to jeopardize that by getting a steady shitty job, I will surly not like to live. As mellow dramatic and adolescent as that may sound. I can't be average and normal. It's as boring as fuck. I hate talking about the weather, or what I did on the weekend. How do people small talk? It's dry. Life is mean. It costs allot to live. Hopefully when the war is over things will get better. And the next war is just around the corner. I'm fucked. I hardly think I could survive on my own. My boyfriend that's like old enough to be my dad takes care of me. I'm not stupid I'm just slow. And shy, and I like to be polite and day dream. Not good if you live in north America. Home of fast pace business and over caffeinated morons. I hate rushing too. You only get one life, which could end any time. There isn't a heaven and there isn't a God. That was made up a few thousand years ago to control the masses. I don't want to spend my hole life rushing around and being stressed out, while making small talk to simple folk. Fuck. I'm out.

Men have no subconscious at times

2008-04-04T09:16:00.000-07:00

I have my period, so you know I'm cranky. I get up groggy, thirsty and light headed. The light burns my eyes and I squint. I need coffee right away. Somethings different with the counter. It takes a few minutes to finally wake up and realize that everything is out of order.

"Why is the counter all messed up?" "The mice came out again. I found were they are coming from." He pointed to the small opening in the wall and explained further while my blood boiled.

We had been fighting the night before about work. However rewarding it can be working with your partner, it can also be frustrating as all holly hell.

My boyfriends excuse is that he doesn't mind mess. And he doesn't make any mess in the first place. (not true) Oh and lets not forget "I'm not very good at that stuff." No he isn't. But practice makes perfect. Cleaning is annoying if you do it constantly. You clean everything and in a day its dirty again. But if you don't keep up with it, it builds up and before you know it you have a mountain of dishes.

He's no good at repairing things either. He's the type of guy that works with his brain, not his hands. My dad has to help with repairs sometimes. When he gets to old, it's up to me. Yard work as well. My boyfriend sucks at cutting grass. He misses spots. Then he leaves all the clumps of grass lying there and doesn't bother to rake. Theses things were cute at first. Now I'm annoyed.

I don't make as much as my boyfriend and we share a house. I can't drive, so if I went out and got a job, he would have to drive me. I have awareness problems so I shouldn't be behind a wheel anyway. We both prefer working at home because jobs have become quite ridiculous in that they are harder and more degrading with less pay, then ever before. We both agreed to fight the establishment tooth and nail, and work for ourselves. It's quite difficult now, with competitors like big box stores, that mass produce things cheaply in other countries, with factories, machines and poor labourers that have big families to feed. Sometimes we get anxious and fight. Time is very limited and mistakes aren't really an option. The cost of everything is the only thing soaring to the top.

He complanes that I'm to slow and can't bring in enough monthly. He's right! I am too slow! I do need to get my ass in gear! He forgets however that I'm almost 20 years younger then him. I've never done this before and I'm terrible at marketing. I've never gone to university. I'm really terrible at things that most people can do, and better at things that most people can't do. I also have to take care of this damn place. Scrub the floors, wash the dishes, do the laundry, make the beds, scrub the toilet, clean up rat shit and the little pieces of scraps they chew on and leave everywhere. (We have to stalk up on mouse traps) Since I don't like to live in my own filth and I don't like to sit in the same clothes for four days straight and not take a bath, I guess it's up to me alone to do all this gross crap. I don't get any credit for it either. It's like it magically does itself. I have to be a maid, a gardener, a repair man, a money maker and a personal motivator. I wonder. If I brought in more then him and still did all the house work would I get any credit?

NO. Because inequality still exists. It would still be HIS house as he likes to remind me all the time. It is his house, he owns it. He just can't take care of it. Typical male.

Relief From Anger

2008-03-13T17:29:00.000-07:00

I'm a woman that doesn't cry enough. Women have hormones that change their mood quite dramatically from time to time. I hold my emotions in when I'm around people. I can only cry when I'm completely alone. I find it hard to express myself. I'm hardly ever alone, so I cram my feelings down and try to forget about them.

Emotions are a chemical response to something in our enviroment that don't leave the body until they are physically exerted through crying, exercise, yelling, sweating etc. Woman cry when they're happy, when they're mad, and sad. I just can't do it around people! The worst is when I hear a sad song or watch a depressing movie and I want to bawl so bad but there are people in the room and it would be too embarrassing. I guess I'm an ice queen. My mom was that way. She never hugged or showed much affection. That's where I get it from.

Last week me and my boyfriend went to stay at his elderly uncles to keep him company. My boyfriends assholish friend came down from where ever the hell he's from. This guy has gotten on my nerves from day one. He is very opinionated in a fascist racist sexist type of way. He always has to prove a point. He said, and I quote, "I don't like brown people. Foreigners should stay in their own country." This guy has gone to university for over 20 years and has had military training. Ha can't get a job as a teacher so he's looking into working at a call center. What an idiot. Can you see why I loathe him so. He is the type of guy that never shuts up and you can't get a word in. Did I mention he interrupts too. If it isn't annoying enough that he never shuts up, when you finally get a word in he'll talk over you anyway. I don't know why my boyfriend likes him. Someone to just hang out with I guess.

The other day he dropped my boyfriend off from their adventures in town that day. He parked the car and let the engine run for half an hour ( I timed it) while he talked my boyfriends head off. When my guy finally got out, and the ass drove off, I asked what the hell he did that for. He said it was because he hated environmentalists. He was probably talking about politics and how women don't belong running for leaders, like he always does. I was so pissed off. He's usually polite to me, which I don't understand, if he hates women so much. However I felt like it was a personal shot at me, because he could probably see me through the apartment window, and I was the only person in the area that gives a damn about nature. Leaving your engine run to get back at environmentalists is really stupid. Since it's not only environmentalists that breathe the air. Also, gas prices cost a fortune. So wasting your own gas to get back at someone that will never see what your doing is stupid. The only person that could see it was me. It pissed me off.

I bring this up because I wonder if I should have confronted him. Is that what people do when they see someone being rude? As usual I bit my tongue and held my anger at bay.

I had to make a doctor appointment the other day. The receptionist was a cranky bitch that snapped at me for trying to make a normal appointment. She was extremely rude and impatient throughout the whole conversation. Again, I bit my tongue. I was growing extremely frustrated. I never sleep well at my boyfriend's uncle's place, so It just made it worse.

I notice when things like this happen and I hold them in, I fight with my boyfriend more from the stress. I guess taking it out on a loved one makes it feel safer. We are very close and he is very understanding. He does'nt deserve my mood swings. Holding emotions in can lead to anxiety and depression problems. It can also be bad for your body.

I'm making a conscious decision to speak my mind next time I see that polluting bastard. I bet it will fell very therapeutic to take it out on someone who deserves it!

Oprah's Big Give And Take

2008-03-04T18:35:00.000-08:00

As much as I hate TV, sometimes I have to watch it to shut off my brain so it doesn't overload. I saw a show on the other night called "the Big Give" by Oprah Winfrey. The scenario of the show is, ten people who are given money and are challenged to find the most dramatic ways to spend it on a charity case. One person gets eliminated every week. The winner gets their biggest wish granted.

The show reminded me of the Apprentice. There were scenes with helicopters flying over a sky scraper with a sign that reads in mammoth letters " the Big Give". If the contestants can't complete their tasks or can't do it in a dramatic enough way they get booted out. Here's what makes me ill. As if "reality" shows (which are the furthest thing from reality) aren't pukey enough, you have a show that is mainly about the misfortunes and poverty of others. It's sick. Oprah is the wealthiest woman in the world. She could save all the people on the shows from poverty or whatever bad situation they're in. She has the money. But the shows main purpose is to make millions of dollars, like any other TV show, by endorsing and promoting products and people like Oprah. They are usually so loaded full of commercials that you forget what your watching anyway. The editing is fast to catch your attention. Usually there's only one second per scene, or less. This is because of the advent of the remote and recorders and such. It's our entertainment at the cost of the misfortune of others. Sad...

In the show I was watching, the least deserving person won the money. It was a woman who's husband was murdered. She lived in a supportive suburban community in a huge house with a double garage. I don't think she really needed the money as badly as one of the other contestants, who was homeless with kids. The homeless woman did win a car and scholarship for her kids, but it doesn't help her current situation. It's kind of hard to pay for car insurance when you don't have a job yet.

Anyway, instead of making loads of easy profit from poor people, they should just help them out because they can. These reality shows make a mint, because they don't have to hire actors. They call it a competition. Really it's people just trying to get out of there Wal-mart jobs and into something more full filling. What ever happened to people helping others because they WANT to, without any TV spot or financial reward?

School Shootings

2008-02-18T17:59:00.000-08:00

The most recent school shooting happened over Valentines day of this year. In Northern Illinois University, Steven Kazmierczak entered a lecture hall full of students and opened fire, killing 6 and injuring 16. He apparently stopped taking his medication and became erratic in behavior.

School shootings date back about 50 years ago, when public school was becoming more predominant as well as a full education. The first recorded school shooting happened at the University of Texas at Austin In 1966. The killer was Charles Whitman, a student at the University. He killed 14 people and injured 31 others before turning the gun on himself. In his suicide note he requested a autopsy which later revealed a brian tumor.

Many of the 53 cases that happened in the U.S. and Canada, from 1966 until now, were commited by people with mental disorders. In the U.S. school shootings happen more then any other place in the world with a whopping 46 cases since 1966. With the lack of gun control in the states, they are becoming increasingly more frequent, with five of them happening in this passing month! Last year there were three cases apart from each other.

I don't think it's because people are 'snapping' that there is so many violent crimes occuring. The media as we all know glorifies violence because it gets peoples attention. The average person can distinguish between what's real and what's not in the media, but not everyone can. Most of the cases were from people with mental disorders that went off their medication. Many of these people adhered to violent cultures, music, books, satanic cultures etc. A lot of them were results of constant bullying.

Perhaps in this fast paced world obssessed with celebrity culture, we should be focusing on more down to earth issues. I think some of the cases could be avoided if mental disorders were given more attention. The media plays a big role in persuading the youth as well as good parenting. If there is a geeky anti social kid down your street, maybe you should see how he's doing, rather then ignoring him.

Garbage Soup

2008-02-10T12:46:00.000-08:00

Check out:
http://www.commondreams.org/archive/2008/02/05/6856/
It's about a garbage pile floating in the ocean that stretches 500 nautical miles off the Californian coast, across the northern Pacific, past Hawaii and almost as far as Japan. It's twice the size of the continental United States.
Some day the whole ocean is going to be this way. Plastic in my opinion shouldn't be made for commercial use. To much is being discarded to quickly and the end result is choking out nature. Green Peace is going to be very busy. Companies that preach that they're being good to the environment are lying as far as I'm concerned. Eliminating plastic bags are good enough but why are they charging people for environmentally friendly bags. Why can't they go back to the ol' paper bag that doesn't cost anything? Sounds to me like another profit maker. They save all the money for not producing plastic bags free to the public, and make extra for selling shopping bags. I make my own bags. It only takes a few minutes. I think people should sell hand made shopping bags. You'd be helping out the underground economy. We have enough products made by asian child slaves as it is.

No pipe cleaners please!

2008-02-06T11:58:00.000-08:00

I was looking at other people's blogs and I came across a little Christian blog. Oh goody! I knew I wouldn't be surprised by the irrationality of this person. The woman was going on about how there should be other ways to teach kids about God without using crafts . Glitter glue and pipe cleaners are a poor way to teach kids. In the Christian womans blog there was a picture of a mother holding up a sign saying "No pipe cleaners please!" The goodly Christian quoted on the picture saying, " Good. At least somebody gets it."
What better way to teach about the Lord, then to abolish any little source of fun in Sunday school. Nothing says God is boring and he doesn't want you to have any fun, better then this. I'm sure more and more society will avert from being secular because of these bold protesters!

I remember as a kid sunday school was a real drag. You had to get up early and go to a second weirder school, Even though it was the weekend. It was always cold for some reason. You had to repeat things you didn't understand from the Bible. It was very boring. The only fun thing was gluing Jesus to stuff and making origami angels. Good harmless fun. My mom asked me when I was 7 if I wanted to go to sunday school and church anymore. I remember very clearly saying, the only thing I really liked about it was exchanging presents on Christmas and making crafts. My mom smiled and told the lady on the phone that I wouln't be going to church anymore. I've been a happy athiest ever since. :-)

Crushing kittens to death

2008-02-04T18:29:00.000-08:00

Me and my boyfriend were researching fetishes on the Internet and we came across the feet crushing things fetish. It derived from heels crushing cigerettes. We stumbled upon a taboo video of a chinese woman crushing a kitten with her platforms. The crushing small animals fetish, came from the crushing bugs fetish, which came from the crushing cans and various other objects, which came from the cigarette crushing fetish wich came from that scene where the good girl goes bad in the movie Grease. Soon it will be the crushing new born babies fetish. The chinese authorities are trying to look for a way for the woman to be sentenced to prison but there are currently no rules in China for animal cruelty. Some people don't look at animals as being that big of a deal I guess. The woman in the video was a nurse of all things! If that woman was cruel enough to crush a cute little baby kitty then what's from stopping her from killing or harming a child? She obviously had no nurturing instinct. Many cases of murderers have been known to torture animals before people. I hope that she gets whats coming to her. If I was there I would give her a good old fashioned ass kicking to see what crushing feels like. That might seem a bit harsh but I've always been a cat lover. I mean come on, a kitten? She better hope I never see her on the street! Fetish can turn into obssession if the fetish lover isn't careful. People need help if they get horned up over inanimate objects or violent acts. Fetishes start when people want sex without love, as crazy as that sounds! The lust over a certain thing gets boring so the luster goes to the next thing that's a little more drastic, then that gets boring and so on and so forth. I hope men think twice before perving out to a ladies feet...

I found a link for those of you who really feel a need for this. Check out the Crush Feet foot crushing site if you want to feed your jollies. At least its better than hurting an animal...

Guerrilla Gardening

2008-01-30T17:04:00.000-08:00

http://www.guerrillagardening.org/ggtips.html Yucky concrete. So boring. So bland. A good way to cause mischief in a productive way is seed bombing. It's where you make these little grenades made out of seed and mud and throw them onto a patch of dirt that's not being used in your city. They don't actually explode of course. The technique is very good for the beginning of plant life though. The above link shows how to engage in a war against boring ugly nothingness and win. I like the part where it says you should bring along some chicks dressed like Daisy Duke to divert cops from what's happening. This also makes the procedure look like a good idea. Nothing sells better then when it's got hot chicks beside it!

We Buy Ads

2008-01-25T13:24:00.000-08:00

Burger king joined forces with Xbox a while back, to make a new way of advertising to young males. The games were sold for 3.99 when you purchased a value meal. I think it's cool how people pay for advertising and then the products they see form the advertising. I never think of marketing as genius. People are just stupid and easily manipulated. For instance when you buy a newspaper, over half of it is advertising. Some pages are just a giant ad. Others are articles about things you should buy. The rest are already on the news. TV is a giant sales pitch. I was watching a movie loaded full of commercials and decided to count how much of the program I was watching and how many ads. After 12 minutes of program 5 minutes of commercials would run. Most of the time the average TV programming has half an hour for every two hours. I dont think people should buy digital cable because you get more channels but allot of the stuff is things you've already seen. Things play at the same time too. It's stupid. Like i always say...Get a hobbie instead!

Britney Spears Is Boring

2008-01-24T16:09:00.000-08:00

Britney flashes vagina.... Britney shaves her head... Britney went crazy... Britney went to the hospital in an ambulance... Britney lost custody of her kids... Britney showed up late for court... Britney goes to school to pick up someone elses kids... Britney never really shaved her head or did any of these stupid things... If she did she would never be able to fit into the mold of pop stardom... Britney gets paid by companies to act like an idiot... Britney gets her picture taken, then gets photoshopped to look interesting for star magazine... Britney's 16 year old sister is pregnant... Jamie Lynn Spears is the new Britney... Teen pregnancy is the new black...

This shit is really boring. I think the best news is how to save money. So you can go on a long vacation far away from this mind numbing, boring shit.

I'm so so so tired of hearing about celebrity gossip. It's on TV and magazines. Audiences don't get to choose who's famous. Producers do. They start off with a young teen. The younger the better, so they can have a longer contract. They choose someone with the right bone structure. Singing isn't that important because technology can fix any flaw.

I wish people could pick up old hobbies like reading and thinking....Anything except for this crap.

some down time

2008-01-23T18:11:00.000-08:00

People don't spend enough time with their family and friends anymore. I mean quality time. I don't see my parents anymore. I thought I could maybe have a party at the house. Then I thought, everyone would probably be too busy. Then I thought, well when aren't people busy? There used to be a time known as the weekend when everyone was at home from work. Now thanks to Sunday shopping that time is gone. I've heard people that are neutral on the subject and say if you don't like it, just stay home! Kind of hard to do when your schedule says you work that day. Everyone is too tired to just drop by and have tea. It never used to be like that. I think that we should work together to have social times. Or else we won't even know one another anymore.

TIP. Get on the phone or Internet and ask people if they want to go to a party with
FREE BEER! You will find them eager to change plans or schedules. They probably won't back out either. Do have a party or get together but only with food and a movie or something. When you get there say the beer got stolen . No one will leave because they'd look like a jerk.

You can do many different things that doesn't cost loads of money like :
take your friends out for a walk, play a sports game, have a barbecue (everyone can bring different foods) go out for coffee, go for a swim, watch the clouds, gaze at the stars etc. The more friends and family that come along the better! Also when you do things away from the hustle and bustle of urban areas you can get in touch with your spiritual side much easier. You don't always have to spend money in bars and malls to have fun. Life has become fast paced. Don't forget to live!
. . .

We don't look at the stars enough. In ancient times people named them and thought they were gods. Today we actually know what they are. They still hold allot of mystery and power. The light from a star that you see happened a thousand years ago. Light travels at a certain speed and stars are so far away that what we see in the sky is not what it really looks like if you were to be closer. Isn't that cool?!

The Joy Of Abnormality

2008-01-19T21:24:00.000-08:00

A friend I haven't seen for ages e-mailed me the other day. Actually it was Face book that made her curious as to what I was up to these days. We were best friends all throughout elementary school. When we got to high school we went our separate ways because of life and growing up. But we're talking again. It's weird but we still have a lot in common. She's trying to get a career though. Which is the farthest thing from what I'm trying to achieve in my life. Her mom was always pushing her hard to get good grades and such. It must have paid off because She has an advanced English major with a double minor in History and Cultural Studies. I have a high school diploma. Which would have been great 50 years ago! I've been craving having a normal life style lately. I live the life of a typical eccentric. I get up past noon. Do many different things to pay bills. None of them are average. I pee outside. I talk to my boyfriend about work when he's on the toilet. I love middle eastern music. (I love all music as long as it's good.) When I'm stressed out I have violent nightmares about zombies and people trying to kill me. Then I kill the people in the most grotesque ways. I often wondered about sanity because of my dreams. Some of them are recurring. I never told my therapist. I think She's more of a flake then I am. I think all of them are. They make money off of people's pain.

Anyway where was I? Oh yes, a normal life. I've tried to be normal once. My emotions ate me alive. I've never been more depressed in my life then when I've tried to behave like the average person. But I just have these dreams about having a normal social life, working my way up in the economy, succeeding, and driving! If I settled down and worked on these things I wouldn't be the same. I wouldn't have time to read and discover the world. I wouldn't have time for creativity. It's too bad people do these things when they retire. You have to live life in the moment before it passes by. ESPECIALLY if you're an atheist. Because then you know there isn't anything waiting for you when you've come to your last days.
I just can't help but think what life would be like if I had been more disciplined growing up....

HOBBIES

2008-01-18T19:36:00.000-08:00

Have hobbies, not addictions. There are allot of young people my age, that don't know what the hell a hobby is. They think hobbies include: video games, drinking, gambling, marijuana, sex, bar hopping and shopping. Now I'm no square. Believe me I do all those things. But they can be destructive to your mind and your wallet. There is more to life. Having hobbies are productive. They make you more creative and intelligent. They can even make you money if you're good at them.

When I quit drugs I had to leave all my old friends behind. For a while I was really depressed and useless. Then I met a guy that recently quit the party life style as well. He made me realize that you don't have to do those things to fit in. You can be wholesome and accomplish more. Know I'm as happy as I was as a kid. I feel content because I'm doing things for myself and not other people. I work at home and it's so comfortable. I have a better relationship with my family.

If you feel stressed, have a bubble bath, light some candles and play soft music. Learn how to build models. Make crafts and sell them online. Learn haw to cook gourmet meals. Read about something that has always interested you! Be creative instead of waiting for something to happen.

People are too pressured into fitting into a mold when it comes to entertainment. Fitting into a mold is stressful and time consuming. You need time to think and feel and be a human being! We all need to live more wholsomly. Going out to bars and shopping has its kicks but not if that's your only entertainment. Make your own fun.

"The less you live the more you consume." "The more you live the more you love." Love people and life. Kind of corn filled I know. But it's TRUE!!

Wisdom

2008-01-12T17:04:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid I wanted to be a cop.Then an astronaut. Then a chemist. I thought of how proud I'll be when I'll be in high school. Then I would go off to university. The older I got the more I realised how very little options there were out there for me. When I got to high school It wasn't how I imagined it to be. The work was very dull and boring. All my friends were interested in was losing their virginity. I wanted to be an actress, then an artist, then a fashion designer, then a music interviewer. Then when high school was over I realised how expensive university was. I realized how expensive EVERYTHING was.

A friend of my boyfriend came to visit today. He's very University educated but very worldly uneducated. He's very sexist and fascist and I feel bad for him because of that. There's more hate in the world then there used to be a generation ago. If people helped each other rather then stepping on each other we would be happier. I think it's just because he got bullied and tortured when he was growing up. Anyhow as much as I disagreed with his sexist views I did agree with one of them, in that the education system has become watered down. More people can graduate that otherwise would be flunkies, but what difference does that make? What can you get with a high school education these days? Not much. My dad said when he was a kid they had to do algebra without a calculator. When they failed one class they failed all and had to repeat the year. It's too easy now. That's why so many freshman college students are so immature. This along with pop culture is making young people very unhappy and rebellious. What does a young person have these days? All the simple milestones in life don't mean anything to anyone anymore. The high school diploma, first car, the house with a white picket fence, marriage and babies are unwanted. They are goals of the past. Media tells us today that the career in business is the goal we need. We need tons of money so we can be the best we can be. Perfect all the things that are horribly wrong with us.

I mentioned earlier that we pay for everything that used to be free. The old saying goes "the best things in life are free. " That used to be true. It's not the good old days anymore where people used to help one another out. It's online dating services, genetically altered massed produced foods, air conditioning, purified water, private property, do not enter, every where I look. I feel there's nowhere to turn to. I have the knowledge to know what's going on in reality. I question everything. Critical thinking is a good way to learn. It's a good way to be paranoid too. But with everything you have to take a grain of salt. In order to be wise, one must learn about the tragedies of the world as well as the miracles. You have to learn from your mistakes.

I'm worried that people are forgetting about these old sayings. Our society is taught to obey. There are stiff regulations everywhere. We need to enjoy simpler things . It's OK to live humble. Talk to an elderly person about the past. Ask for advice. They might have been born in a different time, but they're still alive now. Having lived for so long, they've learned a lot about humanity. This knowledge is called wisdom. A knowledge that can make you at peace with the world. It can make you happy.

I need some excitement

2008-01-11T17:47:00.000-08:00

I need to take another break from reality. I have tons more terrible things I could blog about but I'm getting really depressed from this shit. My next blog will be about the link between TV and ADD, obesity, violence, relationship problems etc. It's a bad world and corporations are 80% to blame....the other percentages is the government and us the people. We're all in this together. The end of the world will be every ones fault. You can't blame the weather for acting weird from global warming. You drove to the grocery store when you could have walked. You threw that wrapper in the garbage when you were to lazy to throw it in the recycle bin. When the ice caps melt and your neighbourhood floods you can't blame someone else. Crap. I'm doing it again.

If I could be anywhere right now, I would be in a field, beside a victorian mansion, with a handsome, charming, very rich fellow, sipping wine. I would be a very beautiful, well off but not rich , madam. The year is 1830. It's a glorious spring day. Birds are chirping, apple blossoms blooming. A warm breeze sweeps through my hair; flowing spun gold hair. I wonder if the handsome sir Elijah Thomas Benedict has a liking for me. The industrial revolution has begun some years prior, but not to the extent that it is now. No pollution, no computers, no advertisements plastered to everything, no cars, televisions, i-pods... sigh.

I think I'll go some were with this. There's nothing like a good romance to cheer up a girl when she's down. Sappy romances to a woman are like porn to a man. A complete escape from reality.

Animated Cartoon Reality

2008-01-11T17:05:00.000-08:00

OK, I need to take a break from reality. I want to watch some Disney cartoons or something. The little mermaid was my favorite growing up. I pretended to be Ariel when I was swimming in the summer. Secondly, sleeping beauty. She was a cool chick. Alice in wonderland comes in third. I don't like animated Disney movies anymore because they're too commercial.

It's great to be aware of ones surroundings but stupid people look so much happier. Ever wonder why writers commit suicide?

shortest blog ever

2008-01-11T16:56:00.000-08:00

Don't let the television teach your kids.

Popular Medications Part 2

2008-01-09T15:29:00.000-08:00

PART TWO

Dear Diary:
In my own experience, I'm only 22 and have experienced depression several times in my life. I had all the symptoms. Lack of interest in activities I usually enjoyed, fatigue, everything I tried to do seemed hopeless, trouble making decisions... when I was 12 I cried all the time. It was one of the hardest years in my life. when I was 18 I was bedridden because of it. When I went to my first therapist I was so depressed I could hardly get out a sentence. I badly wanted to jump off a bridge. He said I was socially inept and needed to get out more often. That screwed me up so bad. I thought he was a moron. My boyfriend went to see him before we met. He thought he was a moron too but that's a different story.I got over it for awhile but then again between 19 and 20 I slept all day and thought of suicide. I felt so worthless to people. I also developed an eating disorder. When I went to my doctor he said to get a therapist. I asked him about the drugs and he did for a while put off the suggestion. But I said I already ate healthy and exercised. So he offered the drugs. Going to therapy didn't help me at all. At times I felt my therapy was a freakin sales pitch from a drug dealer or something. Her first advice was "try the drugs. Allot of people take them. " "Buy this book it'll come in handy if you can afford it, it's $60. " I asked a psychologist about them and he didn't seem to know much about them. "Sometimes people get tics" he said. "Tics?" "Yes, small electric shocks that travel down to their hands. This is only after they've been on them for a while and stop taking them." He explained it was because of the brains reaction to having the electric impulses changed suddenly. It freaked me out. I didn't take them and went on with my depression. I slept for months.

Did any one ever think of WHY over 57.7 million Americans are suffering with mood disorders?
What was it like 220 years ago? Did they have children with such low self esteem issues?

What ever happened to the words...

*THEN/ NOW
sad /depressed
cloudy disposition/ clinically depressed
emotional/ bipolar
adventurous/ ADD
energetic/ ADHD
tired from work and life/ chronic fatigue
lively imagination/ delusional
temper tantrum/ mania
different/ disorder

TODAY
All too often people fight back tears when their going through allot of stress. People are often ashamed of their feelings and asked to put on a conservative smile for work because when you take time off when a family member dies you risk losing your job. In the past when children had to much energy they were told to go out and play. When you live in a city today it's to dangerous to go out alone and theirs nothing for kids to do but go to the mall. The mentality for children to be seen and not heard is still in play, and if kids have too much energy their dubbed hyper active and given Ritalin. This generation of youth has seen more violence and sex in the media then ever before in history. There is very little family time for these children anymore so they are left to process what it means alone. Adolescent violence and bullying is at a rise and schools have become dangerous. There is a lack of education about the real world we live in. People are misinformed. The environment is going extinct from pollution and urbanization. There are millions of homeless around the world and in our country and we're still told to buy SUVs and big screen LCD TVs with digital cable. There are There is allot of pressure on people to look perfect, have the perfect career of their choice, the big house, the nice car... America is a very competitive place where in the past neighbours and families helped out one another. Now it's every man for himself and if you aren't working on becoming something you're a loser.

And we wonder why we're so depressed?

But that is the American dream. Not the American reality. People don't question the media with critical thinking. You don't need to be a celebrity to be important. All of humanity is important and we all need to realize that.

Read to your kids and teach them about the world. Don't leave all the teaching up to the schools, day cares and television. Spend time with your family and get fresh air if you can. Go for a walk. Do activities together. Don't let technology be your only source of amusement. You'll get bored and depressed.

Popular Medications Part 1

2008-01-09T11:25:00.000-08:00

PART ONE

If you suffer from depression, ADD or any of the common problems modern people face, please consider doing your own research about drugs and alternative therapies, before a doctor or pharmacist prescribes you something you know nothing about.

This is really disgusting ....

I watched a documentary last night called the medicated child. Before seeing it I wondered if I could handle it considering all the other terrible things I've learned about capitalism in the passing year. But curiosity got the best of me.

ADD, ADHD, Bipolar, Disorder, Manic, Depression, OCD and some extras Asthma, Diabetes and Childhood Obesity. some kids have these all at once and take a load of 'medication.'

Scientists say that the brain is a complex thing and the study of the human brain is in its infancy. That being said one should keep in mind that medications used to treat the above 'illnesses' are RARELY TESTED.

Can you believe that? It's mind boggling to think that the drug industry experiments on people like that. But what a stagering amount of money they make. They fund allot of things unfortuately. They have quaint little names like PAXIL,ZOLOFT,PROZAC,CELEXA ( I took that stuff for a short time.)EFFEXOR e.t.c.the list goes on.
amitriptylin
amoxapine
anafranil
asendin
desipramin
doexepin
elavil
imipramin
klomipramin
lofepramin
ludiomiln
maprotilin
matprotilin
norfranil
nortriptylin
pamelor
pertofranil
sarotem
sensaval
sinequant
surmontil
tofranil
trimipramine
tryptizol
tymelyt
vivacti

Drugs and drugs and drugs, oh my!

So many to choose from. Most people don't get to choose though.

Many doctors just write out a prescription and send you on your way. So do therapists. Did I mention they get money or kicks when they prescribe these things? Funded by the drug industry of course.

Some more information
http://www.upliftprogram.com/depression_stats.html
and
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/06/27/business/27DRUG.final.html?ei=5007&en=d74fd7b7eb933e39&ex=1403668800&partner=USERLAND&pagewanted=all&position=
and
http://slam.canoe.ca/Slam/OtherSports/2007/11/02/4626501-cp.html

In the documentary "the medicated child" There was one kid that was on as much meds as an old lady. It started with one pill causing anxiety. So He had to take another pill to calm it. Then that one caused high blood pressure so he had to take another and another and so on. He ended up living off of eight pills. It reminds me of the old poem Their was an old lady who swallowed a fly. I don't know why she swallowed the fly. Then she took a spider to eat the fly then a mouse to eat the spider and so on. The poem tragically ended in death.

His main problem was mood swings. He looked healthy as a child but as he grew older and higher dosages were required, he began to look very unhealthy. As much pills as he was on he was still irritable and having problems. ( nobodies perfect) He suffered from 'ticks' uncontrollable body movements. He couldn't stop rolling his neck. He looked like he had developed Turrets. His eyes looked tired like he hadn't slept right for months. He didn't look over weight but he was really bloated, especially around the neck. He was always drowsy and irritable and found it hard to get through school.

He finally went to a therapist who said she saw allot of kids come to her heavily medicated with the same amount of problems they had as before they were medicated. She personally believed allot of the children didn't really need the medication and were missed diagnosed.She tried alternative methods of therapy (in my opinion they should be the first in most cases) like Yoga, exercise group therapy etc. And wouldn't you know it the kid got happier.

The Cost Of Survival

2008-01-09T10:59:00.000-08:00

I guess I need a light bulb moment for making good money. It's getting harder to be creative these days and support yourself by doing it. It's getting harder to support yourself period. When I was younger I thought it would come right to me. I mean it's not hard to make the money. You just need enough to sustain your existence. That's why it's harder. Let me give you an example:A dump apartment in the 60's was $100.00 and wages were $2.50 Today wages have only gone up to approx. $7.50 (after taxes) for a 40 hour work week. so you make approx. $1100.00 a month. Lets see if we can live off of our hard labour...

AVERAGE PERSONS MONTHLY BILLS
Rent =MINIMUM $550.00 to $600.00 for a piece of shit.
Heat $900 a month (oil prices continue to sky rocket)
food= $150.00 if you mostly like kraft dinner and canned goods.
Power =$100.00 or more if you like using it.
Transportation =$100 0r $60 if you use the bus.
phone=$32.00 minimum.
necessities=$50.00 (laundry,soaps, toothpaste, toilet paper, tampons..) So now we only have $70 left. Water? Debts anyone? Student loans? Your gonna owe the man something at some point. more like everyone because we're broke. BETTER NOT GET SICK! you can't afford it. HOME EMENITIES.OR emergency funds. Car need repairs? Nothing lasts forever anymore. Then there's clothes, furniture... That's allot of fuckin' money and we haven't even done anything fun to keep us from snapping. Entertainment? I guess I'll just watch TV ($30 a month for basic cable) I'm too tired from working to go out. Not to mention broke. Maybe I can rent some movies? Only $10 including munchies.....

The government is really behind the scenes these days. It's the faceless corporations that are ruling over us. Where we go shopping makes a big difference. ie. Mc Donald's made $5.42 billion in 2007. They expect an increase in profits because of the Healthier menu, but most employees working there are at poverty level. Even the managers only make slightly more then the teenagers that are just there to save money and don't know that much about survival. That's why I can't stand working for big places like Walmart, Super store, Call centers etc. You get treated like crap, work all the fuckin time, always get called in on your day off and you don't make enough to show for your hard, usually stressful and disgusting work.

Thank you Mc Donald's. No I don't want fries with that. I can't affort any 'add-ons' because you aren't paying me enough...

Rambling Rant On Capitalism and War (I think)

2008-01-08T18:45:00.000-08:00

Feminists would hate me. Not that I hate feminists. I am a woman after all. I have a website where I sell stuff. I hate doing it but it makes more money than anything right now. I have another website where I draw cartoon porn. I actually worked in a strip club in Moncton when I was 19. Hated that too. Although I loathe seducing men for cash, I find it just as degrading as minimum wage work. Lets face it. This is North America. A capitalist society. As much freedom as women have we are still objectified by the media. I'm guilty of taking advantage of that. Did you know Abercrombie and Fitch makes underwear for kids? they make them in sizes for ages 10-16 but the smaller sizes could fit even younger girls. Isn't that fucked?

Corporations are owning us rather then working for us. They control most of the media, and most of the media in America and in many other places, is owned by Australian American Rupert Murdoch. He is one of the richest old fellas in the world. which brings me to another piss off. The U.S. is in debt forty eight trillion dollars, Canada a measly six hundred billion. America is one of the riches countries in the world but the gap between the rich and the poor is huge. And by America I mean the United States and Canada. If you ask me Canada has become an excuse to make more profit for the United states. We don't have any big Canadian owned corporations anymore. They're all 'American'.

The middle class is almost gone and most people are getting to know poverty. You hear more and more people having to choose between necessities like heat or food. Me and my boyfriend have to make that decision. We found out that the oil tank in our house goes through oil quite fast. A full tank costs $900. That's a lot when you consider how much living costs these days. It costs more then we can bring in. No wonder people get in debt so fast. We had to stop using it. It's so cold in some parts of the house that you can see your breath. American companies outsource to less developed countries to make more profit while people at home are getting layed off from the factories. The quickest way to fix this for America seems to be going to war.

Americas history with war

War in Which American Colonists or United States Citizens Officially Participated
July 4, 1675 -August 12, 1676
King Philip's War
New England Colonies vs. Wampanoag, Narragansett, and Nipmuck Indians
1689-1697
King William's War
The English Colonies vs. France
1702-1713
Queen Anne's War
The English Colonies vs. France
1744-1748
King George's War
The French Colonies vs. Great Britain
1756-1763
French and Indian War (Seven Years War)
The French Colonies vs. Great Britain
1759-1761
Cherokee War
English Colonists vs. Cherokee Indians
1775-1783
American Revolution
English Colonists vs. Great Britain
1798-1800
Franco-American Naval War
United States vs. France
1801-1805; 1815
Barbary Wars
United States vs. Morocco, Algiers, Tunis, and Tripoli
1812-1815
War of 1812
United States vs. Great Britain
1813-1814
Creek War
United States vs. Creek Indians
1836
War of Texas Independence
Texas vs. Mexico
1846-1848
Mexican War
United States vs. Mexico
1861-1865
Civil War
Union vs. Confederacy
1898
Spanish-American War
United States vs. Spain
1914-1918
World War I
Triple Alliance: Germany, Italy, and Austria-Hungary vs. Triple Entente: Britain, France, and Russia. The United States joined on the side of the Triple Entente in 1917.
1939-1945
World War II
Axis Powers: Germany, Italy, Japan vs. Major Allied Powers: United States, Great Britain, France, and Russia
1950-1953
Korean War
United States (as part of the United Nations) and South Korea vs. North Korea and Communist China
1960-1975
Vietnam War
United States and South Vietnam vs. North Vietnam
1961
Bay of Pigs Invasion
United States vs. Cuba
1983
Grenada
United States Intervention
1989
US Invasion of Panama
United States vs. Panama
1990-1991
Persian Gulf War
United States and Coalition Forces vs. Iraq
1995-1996
Intervention in Bosnia and Herzegovina
United States as part of NATO acted peacekeepers in former Yugoslavia
2003
Invasion of Iraq
United States and Coalition Forces vs. Iraq

Every generation in America has seen a different war. I wonder what country america will target next. Factory workers resort to making munitions for the army. Instead of joining the army and getting gang raped like Jamie Leigh Jones and thousands before her, I'd rather become a Mexican citizen and travel to America to work for a few months and then go home with my riches. I hear Mexico has beautiful beaches....

Although it's hard to make a living I do think people are spending to much. You don't really need all the things that are advertised to you. It's like the old saying goes, There's a sucker born every minute. Look at how jaded Christmas has gotten. It's a religious holiday for fuck sakes. Christmas has become a sales pitch with very little spirituality to be found. Time to spend with your family? Peace on earth? Good will towards man? No. Boxing day sales. Presents. Expensive technological presents. Advertisements will say its the giving that means something. Giving or getting, you're still giving them money. You have allot of power to change the world by where you spend your money. Sometimes you don't have to spend money at all. Make your own stuff. Get a hobby instead of shopping for fun. You'll have a richer life and you won't be in debt.

Wanna know how to stay out of debt and still have fun? Here's my advice;

$ Grow a garden If you can't because you live in an apartment, grow a few plants in pots.

$ Cook It does take more time and effort to cook but canned or frozen foods are gross. They usually have more salt and chemicals to preserve them. You'll be healthier and have more energy when you make home made food. You don't have to be a chef either. The simplest recipies taste the best.

$ Don't go to University UNLESS you're sure you can get a career after and pay that loan . I know a heap of people that went to school, and were better for it mind you, but still ended up working for minimum wage with nothing to show but university papers and a huge debt load. Know what the economy wants before you leap!!

$ Make your own stuff When christmas and birthdays roll around make something that you know would mean alot to your family and friends. Even as jaded as kids can be in the age of consumerisim and technology, if you try really hard to think of something you'll find it. When I was a kid, my friends got the newest stuff for christmas. My parents were going through a rough time with money so they made me a doll house. Parents used to make toys for there kids all through out history. I don't see why we have to stop now. For my grade 11 prom my mother made my prom dress. Everyone thought it was beautiful and asked where I got it. Be brave, be patient,make time and work hard for yourself and you will accomplish great things!

$Don't drive When you live in an urban area and your job is right next door, walk. If you live out of town, park your car in a central location when you gat there and walk to wherever you have to go. You'll get exersize and you won't be helping the demise of the world as we know it due to global warming.

You don't have to do these things all the time but they will help. They aren't convenient and time saving but you should make some sacrifice for humanity. Walmarts are bad for us. And the stuff you buy from them are cheap, made by labourers in a diferent country and are made to break!

As Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi would say "BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD."

Brand Obssessed Consumers

2008-01-06T10:16:00.000-08:00

Here is an excerpt from Adbusters Magazine...

"Try this one with your kids. Give them one minute to come up with a list of all the brand names they can think of. Pretty easy right? Okay, then give them one minute to list all the different kinds of plants and trees they can remember. Once they're finished, compare lists and lead them in a discussion about why the second list is so much smaller then the first one."

- Adbusters

Now you might think, "well it's hard to know how many trees there are, there's thousands of them." Yes there is. However did you know that the average person sees 5000 advertisements a day? " It's not like I pay attention to all of them", you say sporting your brand new nike shoes. (made by slave kids with carpel-tunnel syndrome)

I just think humanity should befriend the plants that have given our planet AIR. So we can fucking breathe!!!

Oh and here's a little tidbit you bastards should know. Scientists say that 2007 has broken records for wildlife going extinct, weird weather and deforestation. " By cutting down the boreal forest you're giving the world asthma." they say. When one animal goes extinct, others follow. Which makes farming a lot harder. It most definitely leads to famine. And ,with the rising temperatures, a more pleasant breeding ground for bacteria.

http://projectpowerplant.com/blog/?m=200705

The Future Of Civilization

2008-01-03T21:04:00.000-08:00

We're dead.
We deserve what's coming to us. I do too for not doing anything about it. Here is what I think the not so distant future is going to be like based on what's happening now:

People will have to wear gas masks to go outside. It will get hotter. Where tropical paradise used to be, there will be desert. Where desert used to be, there will be hotter and dryer desert. There won't be an ozone layer and when you go outside your skin will burn and blister and you'll get cancer right away from the radiation of the sun. People will have virtually no muscle mass due to technology always moving for them. Everyone will be on medication to be able to get through how stressful and fast paced and long work has become. Children will have to take a specific drug to concentrate and ignore all the distractions of modern life and ignore their youthful energy. There will be no leisure time to get to know anyone. Communication will be discouraged because it will effect productivity. Families won't exist. Only certain people with specific good looks and immunities to deadly viruses will be selected for breeding. These people will be ordered to breed frequently until they all no longer fertile. It will be done by artificial insemination and the fetus will be grown in an artificial womb. Everyone will be germaphobic because of all the viruses that have mutated to overcome vaccinations and the plagues that have returned from heat waves. The only sexual pleasure will be virtually online or with real looking sex dolls. Masturbation will be prohibited because we will be under surveillance in our apartments. These apartments will be very small and cramped. However 6 or 7 people will live in them to help pay the very expensive rent. The apartments will be called Human storage. The working class will often be called the Human resource by the wealthy, who use them as slaves to build there utopias and clean their Bio domes.( the wealthy will live in huge domes with no toxins in the air or water. The gardens and parks will be lush and fertile with some species of animals that have been salvaged by scientists.) Every species of animal will be extinct except for house cats and dogs. Human beings will follow in extinction soon after because of the loss of intelligence passed on, along with the instinct to love and deal with children. This loss of intelligence came mostly from the lack of needing to think from technology. Government and corporation will be responsible for this mostly because it's easier to control people when they're stupid. This will be in the government's favor at first but as stupidity of people gets passed on from generation to generation the size of the cranium shrinks because the intelligence is no longer needed. The brain will shrink to do more repetitive tasks similar to ants. Breed, work, and fight against ants of different race to make a strong colony for the Queen. You'll have to buy everything because everything will be controlled by government and corporations. Money will not exist and your bank account will always be under surveillance to make sure you always make a certain amount. You'll have to buy everything that used to come free with life. Water, Oxygen, love, Sex, school, sleep etc. Oh, wait, we already pay for everything that used to be free.

Allot of the shit I mentioned is already happening in some places.

I met up with an alien recently, that has traveled through time. Here is what he said in an interview I gave him last week.

ME: So what time do you live in? Or what time are you from?

Alien:To you our species has become what it is now, in 129 499 378 774 188 BC, but we have evolved frontal lobes that are much more advanced then yours. We have figured out a way to live in many different times and communicate through them.

ME: You must be quite smart. Can you hear what I'm thinking?

Alien:Yes. And no, we aren't going to invade your planet. We live on loads of other planets that haven't been so fucked up.

Me:How far can you travel through time?

Alien:There is no limit to time and space. It goes on for infinity. You humans only think of things as having beginnings and endings because you are born and then die. Time is actually something you invented to measure the rate of which things live and die so to speak. A human with an unusually large frontal lobe knew this once. I believe you called him Albert Einstein. You mostly seem to think of him as an equation. We have used this equation many times to go where we want. You have used most of his knowledge for making weapons of mass destruction. The math of time would have become quite useful to you.

ME: What do you mean would have?

Alien: My species has been to your future to see your demise. You collapsed your own civilizations from your own greed and ignorance. The human race could have had so much potential. They could have thrived for millions of years. They could have travelled to distant galaxies, travelled through time, to different dimensions even, find life in other places, stop the sun from going super nova, stop a giant asteroid from crashing into earth again, stop the giant black hole from devouring space to make other galaxies. They could have even made their own galaxies. Instead they stopped themselves. The bio domes you made to survive had a flaw in them. You humans have a trend of taking everything for yourself and leaving none for the next generation. This is what you did on earth and then in the domes and then in the domes you made on your moon and mars. By the time you colonized mars there was very few of you left to survive. Viruses that you were once immune to made you ill and die. By then you lost your desire to procreate due to your flawed technology and you couldn't breed as fast as you were going extinct. It's a shame. You humans are an intelligent animal but like most animals on your planet you are territorial. Your instinct to dominate surpassed your instinct to nurture. Your last human was a janitor. He was immune to most things as you can probably guess. He lived to be 35 and died in 3499.

More and more people are suffering from depression, cancer, asthma and stupidity.

I was listening to the CBC the other day and a scientist was talking about how whenever a new technological discovery is made there is no question of whether it could have harmful effects on people on the Earth or not. It is simply released into the Economy. Most likely it is tested and released flaws and all. But only the wealthy are able to afford electric cars that are dent and smash proof. They don't make cars perfectly death proof because they want you to give them lots of money by repairing and replacing them. This is the same for most consumer goods that are outsourced to other countries to be cheaply made.

This has a bad effect on our planet. Notice that most of the worlds powerful people are old? These old fellows pretty much take what they want and don't think of there children's future. We suck too. 100 years ago if everyone knew that cars would be such a horrible polluter and dangerous for people to drive (and for animals to become road kill).....NO ONE WOULD DRIVE!! And we would survive.
You bastards need to see this shit for yourselves.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KVTfcAyYGg

http://www.storyofstuff.com/

Don't protest because they'll shoot you many times.

2007-12-05T17:06:00.001-08:00

I've been thinking of starting another revolution like in the 60's. only without drugs.There's so many bad things happening around the world that one could protest about.I know protesting is dangerous and changes very little, but it's fun to be a pain in the ass to the powerful people that are messing everything up. I put up little notes and posters in stores about controversial things. I'm sure people rip them down but at least they read them first.

I want to start making some noise but I'm not quite sure how. Hopefully I won't get assassinated like all the other people that tried to make a difference. I made a list of all those who got assassinated by the bad guys that didn't want them to make a difference. Abraham Lincoln, Che Guevara, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, JFK, RFK, John Lennon, Malcolm X, Harvey Milk, James E Davis, Farag Foda...And that's just some of them! If you go to Wikipedia and search for listed assassinations you will find lists of bad guys and good guys that have been ended. A lot of the good guys consisted of journalists, human rights activists and politicians, socialists etc. Yes I've been thinking about protesting but then I thought about all the other people that have tried to make people aware and they were assassinated. I think I'll just sit on my hands and suggest that someone else do it. Too scary.

I'm reading a book called DO IT! by Jerry Rubin, published in 1970. My favorite quote is " a society that suppresses adventure makes the only adventure the suppression of that society." I thought that quote sounded familiar and then I remembered reading a similar quote in the new magazine Adbusters. (a magazine driven to make people aware of how their consumerism affects society) It reads " The society that abolishes every adventure makes its own abolition the only possible adventure." I wonder where they get their inspiration? Still it's very true.

There is a new bylaw to ban smoking in my town effective in the new year. Smokers will have to smoke only in their homes and on two bridges that are owned by the province. I'm sure there are a lot of smokers burdened by their addiction but they are still pissed about the new law. I think it's a bit too much because so many people are too addicted to quit. The law forces people to light up inside around their family. People that are against the law are taking to one of the bridges and protesting. I'm going too, even though I don't smoke. I just want to see what happens. Protesting in smaller tamer groups is much safer then trying to overthrow a corrupt govrnment, as sad as that sounds...

2007-12-05T17:06:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking of starting another revolution like in the 60's. only without drugs.There's so many things one could protest about in Canada and the U.S. I know protesting is dangerous and changes very little, but it's fun to be a pain in the ass to the powerful people that are messing everything up. I put up little notes and posters in stores about controversial things. I'm sure people rip them down but at least they read them first. I want to start making some noise but I'm not quite sure how. Hopefully I won't get assassinated like all the other people that tried to make a differrence. I made a list of all those who got assassinated by the bad guys that wanted power.............I'm reading a book called DO IT! by Jerry Rubin, published in 1970. My favorite quote is " a society that suppresses adventure makes the only adventure the suppression of that society." I thought that quote sounded familiar and then I remembered reading a similar quote in the new magazine Adbusters. (a magazine driven to make people aware of how their consumerism affects society) It reads " The society that abolishes every adventure makes its own abolition the only possible adventure." I wonder where they get their inspiration?

Everyones a hypocrite.

2007-11-28T16:19:00.000-08:00

Everyones a hypocrite. I complain that people should be nicer to one another and here I am bashing my fellow man. It sure is fun though!

If you're a vegetarian chances are I will not like you because I think you're kind of dumb. I understand that you should know where your meat is coming from and if it's from an animal that's been treated kindly through out it's life. Why then, can't we just ask for better agriculture? You can't just say it's cruel to eat meat because an animal shouldn't die to give you food. What If you're starving to death? Next thing you'll been on a wolves case because it preyed upon a rabbit. Or a person in a third world country ate their neighbours cat. Human beings are omnivores. We survived by eating anything that walks, crawls, flys and grows. Animals eat animals. Humans are animals. Some animals eat humans. That's nature. Weather it's a plant or an animal something must DIE in order to feed us.

If you think it's wrong to eat meat because animals are God's creatures and we should love them, not eat them, then it becomes about morals and religious beliefs. Not anyone believes in God, and there are thousands of religions. you can't force your beliefs on others. If you think we shouldn't eat meat because the effects it has on the environment then you should stop driving, shopping in large corporate retail stores, only eat things that come in a biodegradable bag, and live without electricity. Because I can guarantee you're assisting in global warming. Oh yes and think of how many millions of animals are hit by cars every day. If you're truly animal friendly then you wouldn't drive because there's too much risk involved. If you think that we shouldn't eat meat because it's bad for you then you should read more. Meat is an excellent source of iron and protein. If you have to take supplements to get more iron in your blood because you're anemic then something is wrong there. You can get replacements for meat easily but a lot of these replacements imitate meat. Which is kind of messed up. You want to eat something that imitates cooked flesh...nasty! I've heard some vegetarians say that because of the way farmers and butchers process meat, there may be a little bit of the animal's poo in the packaging. Well if you haven't noticed most plants we eat thrive from fertilizer.

Make sure what you're reading is neutral about the subject of meat, vegetarianism or veganisim because if they aren't they could just be trying to promote their company. I've read university studies that indicate meat contains chemicals that make you smarter, have a quicker reaction time and a stronger immune system. I'm not saying vegans are the enemy, I just think we should have a balanced diet, low in trans and saturated fat and live healthy lives without bitching about peoples poor morals when everyones a hypocrite.

There are terrible things happening in North America and around the globe that effect not only animals but people and the environment. Most people focus on the little things when we should be looking at how to fix the BIG problems. I should apologise for saying I don't like vegetarians earlier in the Blog. What I should have said was I don't like it when people discriminate others for the way they live. Not all meat eaters eat at McDonald's and die at 60 from heart disease and obesity. Not all vegetarians eat tofu and go to nudist colonies. So lets all get along so we can work on building colonies on the moon for when the earth is no longer habitable.

Oh, and check out my cute poke at vegetarians on a shirt I made called Veggie Murder!

I'm a Hypocrite ...and so are you!!

2007-11-25T13:10:00.000-08:00

I'm a hypocrite because I think people should be kind to animals as well as other people and the enviroment because we're smart enough to do so. however I hate Vegetarians. They ruin my fun. They ruin the fact that I love fried chicken. They make me think of the fried chicken as an animal that lived and breathed. I certainly wouldn't want to be eaten. That's a terrible thought. So I think mabey the vege eaters are right. Mabey we should stop eating meat. We don't really need to. We need iron and can get it from certian plants like beans and spinich. I think we crave meat becuase we evolved from apes that had fangs and hunted. They weren't very successful at it so.... They also scare the shit out of me. I like being near the top of the food chain. (I hate it when people say we're on the top of the food chain. If we were on top we wouldn't get eaten by sharks, lions, crockodiles...)

Are we so different?

2007-11-15T09:56:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, while in the shower listening to my Radiomate, Queen Latifah's Georgia Rose was playing on the CBC. The chorus went "don't be blue cause you're Black Georgia Rose". It brought me back to my younger days when I was in high school and got teased all the time for being so pale. Everyone said I should get a tan. But I didn't care and I still had boyfriends. So it must not have really mattered that much. As I was stepping out of the tub I began to wonder why we refer to ourselves as "higher beings". We still can't seem to set aside the little tiny insignificant differences we have, like color, race and religion. There are millions of colors to the human eye and we're all different colors. I'm not white, I'm a light pink with freckles. You're not black, you're a brownish color. And it's not like our whole body is that one color. So why do we label ourselves and make it like if you have a slight difference you're a whole other species.

Another thing that I find ridiculous is that the wealthy still need an abundant supply of the poor. And they're still declaring war on whoever has what they want. There are some people that are unfathomly rich while others are unfathomly poor. People shouldn't have that kind of power. Ever since civilizations first began there has been war, slavery, poverty, greed etc. Those characterisics in the human race haven't left us at all. Even in the most "developed" countries. The United States of America is one of these places that will refer to itself as developed... But if you ask me it's still a nation in progress as long as there is war and capitalism. It reminds me of monkey's fighting over territory and food. Human beings still have all the traits of Animals. We mate, eat, crap, kill, steal, ...

If we can set aside our differences, which should be simple (it really should), and work together we could make our planet a utopia for all living things. But for now the earth is a utopia for the wealthy. It's up to the people to change the way we live. But we need leaders to make law and the law seems to favor the wealthy. (ie. if you commit a crime and can afford a damn good lawyer and money for bail you could get away with murder... OJ Simpson). We, the people need to come together and take back our lives and stop focusing on this little differences. We're growing more depressed and anxious with every passing year because of all the hatred and discrimination and lack of money to pay bills. We want better jobs, a less narcissistic society, better education, health care, safety. It's not going to happen by itself. It certainly isn't going to come from any politicion, you should know that by now. If we worked together instead of against each other we would live in better comunities with less crime, but until then our education is getting worse, people are getting gullable and listen to whatever their told, everyone is in debt and people in power will keep telling you to hate those who are different just in case they need to declare war to get what they want and you'll have to join the army because you're poor and too stupid to get an education or you need to pay off your loans. The army pays well. They say that war is good for the economy. It never really worked out for Germany though, even though they gave us a good run for the money. Oh, well, perhaps the U.S. will have better luck in the middle east...

Hi Everyone!!

2007-11-14T23:57:00.000-08:00

I'm new to this whole blog world, so please bear with me! I am a shy art student and I paint and draw whenever I can. I plan to discuss art and being an artist in my blog, but for now I'll just leave this as my introduction. Hope you are interested by what I have to say! Bye for now!